LOSS AFTER LOVE; CHALLENGES DURING THE FESTIVE PERIOD

LOSS AFTER LOVE; CHALLENGES DURING THE FESTIVE PERIOD

LOSS AFTER LOVE; CHALLENGES DURING THE FESTIVE PERIOD

Loss and grief is something that every single human being will experience at some time in their lives, and so we are never alone in this, however, despite this, it can still feel like a very lonely and overwhelming experience when we are in it. Grief can often feel more difficult at certain times of the year, for example, when there is often more talk around family and loved ones getting together to celebrate, and those that are now missing from our lives are remembered, we may find ourselves feeling sad and overwhelmed, wishing they were still with us.

There is no quick fix where grief or loss are concerned, and there isn’t an answer or a strategy on how to cope, but there are certainly some things that we can consider at the most challenging of times.

Patience is one of the main gifts you can give yourself during these times. I have often heard people saying things like, ‘I thought it would feel easier by now’ or ‘It’s been so long I should be feeling different by now’ and many other versions of this. There are no ‘should’ and ‘should not’s’ when it comes to grief. There also isn’t a timeline. It takes as long as it takes for the intensity of feelings to ease, and these feelings can also come in waves, particularly as I already mentioned, around the festive season, birthdays and anniversaries and so on.

Be kind and compassionate with yourself. Grieving doesn’t have a start and an end date, we are not waiting until it just disappears and then we won’t feel loss or pain anymore. Therefore when it does feel particularly overwhelming, notice how you talk to yourself, avoid judgment and criticism and show yourself love and compassion, especially at the times you need it most.

Understanding and awareness is also key. There are various stages of grief we can go through such as denial, anger, depression, but these are not linear stages and so you may find that you dip in and out of the stages, and this is perfectly OK. It can be comforting to know that everything you are experiencing is normal and to be expected. Although grief is something we all experience, how we deal with it and manage it doesn’t need to be the same for everyone. Follow your own gut instinct and give yourself permission to grieve YOUR way.

If you are facing the festive season and feeling like you are dreading this time and want it to be over with quickly due to feeling the sad loss of a loved one, then it’s important to consider lowering your expectations of yourself and your feelings. It’s OK if you don’t want to socialise much. It’s Ok if you don’t want to decorate your home. It’s OK if you want to spend time alone. Equally it’s also OK if you still want to celebrate and make the most of the time you have with friends and family, it’s OK if you want to decorate your home more than ever before!  We are still OK to enjoy our time and socialise when we are grieving too. We can experience the whole range of emotions in equal measures, and there is no need to feel guilty about that as feelings are not fixed, they ebb and flow naturally, and the less we resist all of them, the more peace we will feel in our loves day to day.

Overall, it’s really about you seeking comfort in people and things or ways that make you feel more at ease, and that will vary for everyone. From myself and the team at Brood, for anyone feeling grief, sadness or loss, we are sending you lots of love. I wanted to finish with a little quote that gave me comfort when I lost very special people in my life over the years.

“Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”. Alfred Lord Tennyson

Article by Sarie Taylor

For further help, contact Sarie Taylor direct: sarie@sarietaylor.com or you can call Samaritans on 116 123

Sarie Taylor Counsellor and Psychotherapist
Sarie Taylor resident pyscotherapist

Auntie Cath’s Energy boosting flapjacks

This month’s recipe is one of my absolute favourites - Auntie Cath’s energy-boosting flapjacks. They’re super healthy and kids are going to love making them. They’re fab for lunch boxes, and you can freeze them! Catherine Tyldesley (or Auntie Cath as she’s often...

Recharge Through Nature’s Medicine: Cacao Ceremonies

Cacao ceremonies have gained popularity for their potential physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental benefits, all of which can contribute to a deeper connection with oneself, enhanced creative flow, self-expression, and self-acceptance. Here’s a breakdown of these benefits:

How children can enrich your spiritual path

How children can enrich your spiritual path.The beginning of my spiritual journey was one spent in solitude, I loved creating my own temple space within my living room, I meditated within the forest at the back of my home, I travelled globally...

Sarah Jayne Dunn & Jon Smith: On Creating more time with your family outdoors

It can be hard to find balance in life when we are so busy with all the other things that we have to juggle. One thing that has stood out since starting BROOD, is just how many of us are constantly looking for more ways to try switch off and spend quality time as a family. It’s also clear that we all want to incorporate ways to exercise into our weekly routine and encourage our kids to be active and outdoors too, but it can be hard to fit it in when there is only so many hours in the day! So, with a new sport activity sweeping exciting across the UK – Padel – we just had to find out what all the hype was all about, and to see if it was an activity that would fit into family life.

Ashleigh Guthrie

ASHLEIGH GUTHRIE. IMAGE © TOM PITFIELD PHOTOGRAPHYAshleigh Guthrie is a spiritual mentor, women’s circle facilitator, sound healer and trauma informed child hypnotherapist – trained by teachers from different traditions all over the world. Ashleigh is BROOD Magazine’s...

Salmon and Chorizo Kebabs with a Tamari Glaze by Kate devine

Let's TALK HOLIDAY AND EXERCISE I’m lucky enough to be writing this months article while still on my holiday in Spain. I get asked a lot by clients and friends about how to stay healthy but still enjoy yourself while away; and to avoid the guilty...

HOW TO CO-PARENT AT CHRISTMAS

HOW TO CO-PARENT A HAPPY CHRISTMASI love Christmas as much as my children do.  When I was younger I used to get so excited on Christmas Eve I used to give myself stomach ache and my mum would get cross with me and have to calm me down. Now I’m a parent myself I don’t...

What others think of us is actually none of our business…

What others think of us is actually none of our business…This is something that I continually remind myself and my clients of. We can spend so much of our time and energy on worrying about other peoples opinions, as well as the general opinions and expectations of...

REMIND YOURSELF WHAT MATTERS BY ASHLEIGH GUTHRIE

© BROOD MAGAZINERemind Yourself of What Matters As I sit here and breathe deeply, sipping my tea, eating a morning pastry, I am reminded of the importance of taking time to pause. Questions swirling through my mind, “Who are you beneath the fast paced ‘doingness’ of...

SARIE TAYLOR: READER’s QUESTIONS

READER'S QUESTIONSThis month we wanted to answer a couple of reader's questions. Thank you for your submissions and we hope you find these answers helpful! How to be empathic to someone who is going through high anxiety without it triggering you or making you feel too...

SURVIVING THE SUMMER HOLIDAYS BY SARIE TAYLOR

Sarie Taylor shares her advice for surviving the summer holiday juggle!

HOW TO MANAGE THE CLOCKS SPRINGING FORWARD

Twice a year when the clocks change, we are inundated with questions and parents asking what they can do. Although the spring clock change can play havoc with our bodies (an increase in heart attacks and strokes the day after this happen) but it can really help you if you have a little one who likes waking before 5am!

IS GUILT A GIVEN WHEN YOU ARE A WORKING PARENT?

When I started to really see that my feelings of guilt came from the thoughts I had about myself, I started to see guilt as a wonderful alarm and indicator for me to actually lower my expectations of myself, relieve the pressure and be much more patient and compassionate with myself! It is simply and indicator that our thoughts have gone off in an unhelpful direction.

SARIE TAYLOR: Procrastination; does it stop us from getting where we want to be?

PROCRASTINATION; DOES IT STOP US GETTING WHERE WE WANT TO BE?It's September and routines are changing again, a time to find our feet with a new schedule again, and maybe get all the things done we haven’t managed to do during the summer. Easy? Or is it? Maybe you find...

Sarie Taylor: Overwhelm

Feeling overwhelmed? Our resident Psychotherapist gives us some tips to reduce our stress and anxiety when it comes to a parent juggling work and family life.

LOSS AFTER LOVE; CHALLENGES DURING THE FESTIVE PERIOD

LOSS AFTER LOVE; CHALLENGES DURING THE FESTIVE PERIODLoss and grief is something that every single human being will experience at some time in their lives, and so we are never alone in this, however, despite this, it can still feel like a very lonely and overwhelming...

HEALTHY HALLOWEEN PLATTER BY KATE DEVINE

Healthy Halloween platter and October Wellness  It’s Halloween month! I’m already stocking up on decorations and costumes for the younger boys (the oldest is too cool for school these days and would definitely not wear a halloween costume) and...

4 Simple ways to reset when you’re feeling burnt out and overwhelmed

ASHLEIGH GUTHRIE. IMAGE © TOM PITFIELD PHOTOGRAPHYONE OF MY FAVOURITE PIECES OF ADVICE FOR CREATIVE PRODUCTIVITY IS, “IF YOUR MIND IS EMPTY READ, IF YOUR MIND IS FULL WRITE.”  KNOWING WHEN TO REST AND WHEN TO ACT THROUGHOUT THE DIFFERENT CYCLES OF THE MONTH AND...

Sarie Taylor – Coach and mum of two

SUCCESSFUL MUMPRENEUR SARIE TAYLOR, IS A PARENT TO A 15 YEAR OLD WITH ANOTHER ON THE WAY

 KEEP UP TO DATE WITH BROOD:

* indicates required
Please select all the ways you would like to hear from Brood Magazine:
You can unsubscribe at any time by clicking the link in the footer of our emails. For information about our privacy practices, please visit our website.
We use Mailchimp as our marketing platform. By clicking below to subscribe, you acknowledge that your information will be transferred to Mailchimp for processing. Learn more about Mailchimp's privacy practices here.

Related Articles

Sarah Jayne Dunn & Jon Smith: On Creating more time with your family outdoors

It can be hard to find balance in life when we are so busy with all the other things that we have to juggle. One thing that has stood out since starting BROOD, is just how many of us are constantly looking for more ways to try switch off and spend quality time as a family. It’s also clear that we all want to incorporate ways to exercise into our weekly routine and encourage our kids to be active and outdoors too, but it can be hard to fit it in when there is only so many hours in the day! So, with a new sport activity sweeping exciting across the UK – Padel – we just had to find out what all the hype was all about, and to see if it was an activity that would fit into family life.

read more