I never expected to be a dad: The path to adoption with Adrian Adair

I never expected to be a dad: The path to adoption with Adrian Adair

“…Honestly, I never thought I’d be a dad”

For many, the path to parenthood is not made from perfectly shaped, life stepping stones. Keen to explore the diverse routes to, and experiences of, becoming a parent I reached out to one of our Morson executive managers who has recently navigated the adoption process to become a father with his partner.

For safeguarding purposes, we have kept the identity of the family anonymous, so there’s no BROOD photography provided by the talented Tom Pitfield, but I’m confident you’ll be as moved by this honest, inspiring and, at times, emotional story as I was.

During our conversation, we explore the challenges of raising a child with a traumatic past, the complications of using traditional parenting techniques with an adoptive child and why adoption should be considered more widely as a path to parenthood.

Morson Group
Adoption Process
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Let’s start with your new reality, parenthood. How long have you been a dad?

We have had our boy for just under a year now, he moved in with us in November of last year. Honestly, I never thought I’d be a dad, but my partner and I have been together for 17 years and we felt it was time to start a family, so we decided to explore adoption.

We’ve had many a conversation over the past 9 months about how your little boy has changed your life and I’m interested to understand more about your experience of adopting and the adoption process itself…

It’s been an interesting time, not least because of the personal circumstances and realities you become aware of. All children who are in the adoption process will have experienced trauma in one way or another. The very reason they’re in the care system is because they have encountered some kind of harm and that could be anything from physical, sexual or emotional abuse and severe neglect. So, a big part of the process is having to prepare yourself to cope with, understand and manage that child’s experiences and life story.

Because we’ve adopted a slightly older child, who wasn’t put into the system until they were five and a half, he’s had years of not having his needs met. As you can imagine, caring for a child who has gone for five and a half years experiencing that when you cry, no one’s cuddled you, or when you’ve been hungry, no one’s fed you, their parent has gone out and left you alone at home on your own… there’s a lot of things to unpick. Often adopting an older child can come with more challenges than if you adopt a newborn baby. For example, in adoption, you can do something called early permanence. In early permanence, the birth mum is still in pregnancy and social services are aware that it’s a challenging environment with the birth family, so as soon as that child is born the baby is taken into care. These babies are safeguarded and cared for by the system from birth.

However, whatever the path to adoption, one thing you can rely on is that each child who enters care has experienced some type of trauma whether that’s in the womb or in the outside world. So you just need to prepare yourself for this.

So, as a couple, how do you prepare yourself for this reality and becoming adoptive parents to a child with a traumatic past, did you take any leave from work?

We did loads of research, training and workshops so we were fully aware of the challenges and prioritised creating an environment where our child would feel safe and supported. To help with this I took three months of adoption leave. The adoption policy for Morson would have allowed me to take 12 months or more if I wanted to, but I was conscious we needed to introduce work/life balance into our environment as part of the process – because that’s the reality of our lives. Three months full pay was amazing because when you bring your child home, that period of attachment with your child is massively important. Being able to take three months off and not having to worry about my salary was huge for me. My partner took off six months and he could have extended it to 12 months as well. That period where we both stayed at home together to nurture, understand and get to know our child and adapt to our new lives was essential.

Of course, the beauty of having a slightly older child is they do go to school which gave us some downtime, so that’s an advantage! Self-care and a strong support network is of paramount importance when you adopt a child, so allowing yourself time to have a relaxing bath, read a magazine or go for a coffee with a friend is a must.

As the parent of a toddler, I’m looking forward to school! Also, please give me hope, do they sleep when they’re older, please tell me they do?!

Do you know what? It’s funny because when he first came to us he would go to bed, then he would get up a short time later and become dysregulated. During this time he’d be throwing cushions and screaming at us, and it would take him probably an hour to settle.

And now?

You can put him to bed at 7:30 pm, say ‘Goodnight, I love you’ and he’ll not get out of bed until the morning (which happened to be 5:55 am today). We spoke to an educational psychologist who explained to us that if you do not feel safe the primary thing that is affected is your sleep. So, the fact that he sleeps through the night is speaking volumes about how he feels at home with us, so that’s a huge win.

That’s amazing and so positive to hear.

When you first came back to work I remember us chatting and you had loads of interesting tips like this for adopters and anyone caring for a child. Would you mind sharing some more?

Do you know what, a lot of the training when you go through the adoption process doesn’t just deal with children who’ve experienced trauma. Much of it can cover how to handle any child who is demonstrating challenging behaviours.

For me, the one key takeaway here was the power of playfulness. No matter how agitated they are, playfulness will nearly always get a child out of the mindset of being angry or upset. If you can get a child to smile or laugh, they cannot feel anger or upset at the same time. So one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that being playful and silly will help your child to become regulated again. Because of this, we find ourselves doing the most ridiculous things! If he suddenly becomes distracted, frustrated or unsettled we’ll do a stupid voice or a silly dance, or we’ll put on a silly song. As soon as he starts laughing you know he’s coming around, so playfulness is massive.

One of the other tips is distraction techniques. If you can distract your child it can help to diffuse potentially challenging behaviours. Tactics like making anonymous phone calls, for example, picking up the phone and making out that you’re speaking to someone immediately gets him to ask questions like, ‘Who’s that on the phone dad’… his curiosity takes over his agitation.

So, yes, playfulness and distraction are the two big things we’ve learned. My partner and I certainly have a playful nature, so I won’t lie, we actually really enjoy it.

Natasha Jonas Training
ADRIAN ADAIR FOR MORSON. IMAGES © BROOD MAGAZINE

So you say those tips are universal but do you think there are differences in parenting an adoptive child vs. a child who has had a more traditional upbringing?

I would say yes. You cannot parent a child who’s experienced trauma the same way you would a child who has not had a traumatic start to life.

Discipline is one key difference. If you’ve got a baby or child who cries a lot, traditional parenting methods may suggest leaving them to self-soothe or tactics such as sending them to their room to calm down. You can’t do that with a child who has experienced trauma because if your child used to cry, and no one ever came, their behaviour regresses. So you have to go and comfort them. Because of their experiences, many of these children have not met their developmental milestones because they haven’t had their needs met. Therefore their chronological age is different to their emotional age. For example, you may have a child who is eight, but emotionally still could be only 18 months old because they never had their emotional needs met.

It’s little things like when they get out of the bath, wrapping them in a towel and rocking them, which they didn’t experience as a baby. Another thing is around meal times, for example, my boy will occasionally ask for help eating because he didn’t have that support in his earlier years so is looking for that need to be met now. As an adoptive parent, you’ve got to consider their emotional age, not their chronological age. Remembering this is key.

I’ll be honest, I’ve found this part really difficult. I’m fighting 38 years of being parented and in a particular way. The fuses in my childhood home were very short and you cannot behave that way with an adoptive child, you must have patience. So it’s been a real eye-opener for me on how to try and control my initial reactions, be more tolerant and think about things more carefully.

So is it fair to say that the adoption experience has taught you a lot about yourself? Has becoming a parent changed you in any way?

Yes, I would say this experience has definitely taught me more about myself. I’ve always been quite an empathetic person and this has helped me transition into the adoptive parent role. This whole process has highlighted how important empathy and understanding people’s situations are. I think I’ve always been that way, to be honest, but even more so now.

Although I was only saying at work yesterday it’s funny how I have so much patience and tolerance with my team, yet you flip it onto parenthood and my tolerances and patience get a bit shorter. But I think this is because, when you become a parent your child becomes the most important thing in your life. Things that I would get upset and frustrated about beforehand in work, I’m just like, it’s not that important anymore. I don’t sweat the small stuff because my child and his well-being are my priority.

I agree. I think patience is the key word. People say to me all the time that I’ve calmed down since I’ve become a dad. I think when you’re at home, in a social environment or the workplace being more patient with people whether that’s colleagues, children, family or friends ensures you get the best out of those around you.

Speaking of friends, when we used to meet up we’d talk about which restaurant we’d been to or what holiday we’d just booked. Now it’s all mealtime strategies, sleep cycles and ‘guess what food has been smeared on my clothes this morning?’ Is it fair to say life has changed?

Yeah! Now it’s all about soft play and where the best children’s theme parks are. Holidays are not the same. Now you book a hotel based on the kids club reviews and availability of free slushies.

It’s not a holiday anymore. It’s a trip!

Yeah, it’s very, very different, but different in a good way.

I never expected to be a dad. Ever. Because I thought parenthood would be something that I would never do, you don’t work towards it. I think in heterosexual couples (or certainly it used to be) you would get together, get married and have a baby; you’d have these relationship milestones set out. But often in a gay relationship, couples get together, get a house and live the rest of your life frivolously. But as soon as my partner and I started the process we knew we were meant to be dads and I would never change it.

I always said when I first met Leanne that I’m not getting married again, I don’t want children and I don’t like pets…

And look at you now.

Yep, 15 years on, we’re married, we’ve got a dog and Alana proceeded pretty swiftly afterwards. You make a good point though. Society used to force everyone into these ‘norms’ but nowadays people are ripping up the rule book. I think we were probably the last generation who felt that pressure.

Though I couldn’t see my life any other way now. To see the world through a child’s eyes is probably the best thing I’ve ever experienced because they just love everything, don’t they? The first time they step on sand or go on a plane, it’s all new and exciting…

Oh absolutely! The number of times we’ve sat there and our little boy has just looked up and gone ‘This is the best day ever!‘.

It’s particularly powerful for him because he was taken into care at five and went through several different foster placements, so he’s never been able to feel safe, settled or have things of his own. He’s never been spoiled, and now he’s having all these experiences, he’s like WOW! Though we’ve had to reign it in a little bit!

What’s it like seeing the difference in him and knowing you’re giving him the best life experiences possible? Are you an adoption advocate?

A massive yes on both parts. I think more people need to see adoption as an option. People don’t look at or talk about fostering and adoption enough. I mean, consider the positive impact you can have; not only are you bringing joy to your life, but you’re also giving a child who would not have the best life a chance to have an amazing life. So people should think more about it because they’re crying out for adopters.

Look, it’s challenging, I won’t sugar coat that, in some early conversations with you I probably burst into tears a couple of times, but the rewards on both sides are huge.

That’s such a powerful message and you’ve completely opened my eyes, like many others I’m guilty of being relatively naive to the adoption conversation. Do you have any tips for people that are thinking about going on that journey?

I think my one tip would be that you cannot be overprepared. Read the books. Do as much training as you possibly can, because there is nothing that can prepare you for some of the challenges that are involved, but it is very, very, very rewarding. Some training courses we went on and some of the stories we heard were so sad and unbelievable so yeah, just be prepared. That’s the most important thing.

We’ve worked together now for 11(!) years and it’s been lovely to see you go on this journey, I know I’ve never seen you happier. You’ve got such a nurturing personality, and a brilliant relationship with your partner, I know you’re creating a great home for your boy.

Yeah, times have certainly changed since we were dancing on tables doing Karaoke and singing Barbie Girl! But I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Through my relationship with this particular colleague and others, I’ve seen first-hand how adoption has enriched the lives of both adults and children. For me, it’s so important that organisations support and enable people to explore all routes to parenthood, and as business leaders, we must help to facilitate and champion this.

At Morson, our adoption policy has been crafted to ensure that adoptive parents are supported equally to those on traditional maternity or paternity leave. Primary parents receive the same entitlement as those on maternity and secondary parents mirror paternity policy. But, it’s not just adoption, we’re looking at various family structures to ensure our colleagues are supported by policies which are fair, inclusive, and reflective of their personal circumstances. For example, we’re currently working directly with one of our colleagues who is going through IVF to help write and shape our IVF policy to ensure it offers the right level of support.

As a business with a large, global reach we’re passionate about influencing positive change across our network based on learned experience. As such our HR teams are working with a number of clients to help them craft inclusive policies for their current and future workforce, through our HR Outsourcing service.

If you are a business wishing to explore how best to champion inclusion and support your employees or an individual looking for an opportunity in an organisation that cares for the personal and professional you, don’t hesitate to get in touch with me directly adrian.adair@morson.com

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Morson Group
Interviewed by Morson Group
PHOTOGRAPHY BY TOM PITFIELD

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ADRIAN ADAIR OF MORSON GROUP INTERVIEWING NATASHA JONAS. © BROOD MAGAZINE

“…You feel the social pressure to be there for your child.”

Natasha Jonas is one of British boxing’s trailblazers. Supported by Tyson Fury, Claressa Shields, Ellie Scotney, and Chantelle Cameron, Tash has become a star in the boxing world. With an outstanding amateur career, she was the first-ever female British boxer to qualify for the Olympic Games and has since become known as “Miss GB”. Spurred on by a disappointing Olympic loss to Katie Taylor, in 2017 she turned professional under the tutelage of Joe Gallagher. Tash has held the WBO female junior-middleweight title since February 2020, graduating from Miss GB to Queen GB.

A key corporate sponsor since 2017, Morson has championed Tash in the sporting arena from the time she turned pro. However, for this article, I was keen to explore her life outside of the ring; as a mother negotiating a professional dream and bringing up a young daughter. I met Tash at Joe Gallaghers Gym (professional coach of the Smith brothers: Stephen, Paul, Liam and Callum along with Matthew Macklin, John Murray, Anthony Crolla, Scotty Cardle, Scott Quigg, Hosea Burton, and Callum Johnson) in Bolton for an honest, enlightening and inspiring interview about her experiences of returning to a professional career after having a baby.

Morson Group
Natasha Jonas
NATASHA JONAS IMAGES © BROOD MAGAZINE
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Tell us a little about how you got into boxing and your career to date

“My entry into boxing was a good accident. 18 years ago I was on a scholarship in America playing football and I got injured. Devastatingly it was the end of my football career. When I came home, I put on a lot of weight and felt like I had no direction. I realised that within a year of not doing anything, that sport was my motivation and drive to be positive and do good things. So I looked for another sporting avenue to put my efforts into.”

 

From Toxteth, Jonas first fell into boxing when she became aware of female-only nights at Rotunda Gym, north Liverpool and was brought into the sport by female boxing trainer Sylvia Singleton.

“I was only at the gym as a fitness thing, although I’ve been involved in some contact sport – kick-boxing and karate – since I was young. But when Sylvia asked me, I went along, and it just steamrollered from there. Before I knew it, I was eight bouts, eight knockouts, and I quickly got chosen for the England team.”

 

What do you see as your greatest achievement?

“I think there are two special nights that stand out and one of them being the Olympic qualification. I’ve always loved sport and I remember watching the 1988 Olympic Games on television when I was four and saying to my mum, “I’m going to be there someday”. Of course, I was only four so my mum was like ‘yeah whatever’ and I said, ‘no, I’m going to be there.’

So, fast forward 24 years, I’ve just qualified for the Olympics but I didn’t know this story. I’d done the interviews about what a moment this was for me, feeling emotional but I hadn’t cried. I’d landed back in the UK, headed through the airport and saw my mum at arrivals, she was crying, bawling her eyes out, and I was like, mum what’s up?!’ She said, ‘I remember you as a little girl telling me, “I’m going to be there” and it’s taken you all this time… 105 different sports but you’ve got here in the end and you worked hard, tried your best, didn’t give up and you’ve got your reward.” So that moment for me and my mum was truly special.

The second moment was the fight with Namus on the Amir Khan vs Kell Brook undercard. Boxing in Liverpool was brilliant and boxing at home is where I want to be, but that was a big, big card. It was probably my last chance at a world title shot. So, the pressure was on, the opponent was good and I had to go out and perform before the highly anticipated Amir Khan vs Kell Brook fight. When it worked out for me I was made up for myself, my family, and my little girl. But I was also so happy for Joe [Gallagher] as well because he goes through absolutely everything that I go through.”

 

You’ve said in interviews before that you thought falling pregnant meant the end of your boxing career. Can you tell us about this time in your life?

I was an amateur then. In the 2014 Commonwealth Games, I snapped a ligament in my toe and that injury meant that I’d missed the qualifiers for Rio and I didn’t have any intentions of staying amateur until 2020 for Tokyo. So when I said goodbye to the amateurs, I was effectively saying goodbye to boxing because there wasn’t a pro scene for us here in the UK. I decided within that time to have a baby because, in my opinion, you do have to stop one for the other.

It’s not like the lads where you just have a week off to be with your baby and then you go off back to work or training. As a woman, a mother who’s just given birth, your body changes, you feel the societal pressure to be there for your child and more than that, you do want to be there for your baby every step of the way. I went away and had my little girl but switching that focus from boxing to her prompted a mix of emotions.

I was so glad that I had her. Boxing is such a big void to fill when you’re finished and I think many people struggle with that. The sport takes up so much of your life and when it’s not there it’s so incredibly hard to find something positive to put your energy into. But I was okay because I had my baby to put my all into but it’s a completely different kind of challenge. You’re trying to be that perfect mum for this new human that you’re now responsible for. You’re trying to take on all the advice and do everything that you’re told correctly and be perfect. This consumed all my energy. But gradually she got into her own little routine, became more self-sufficient and was evolving into her own person. So, there was again this void. Then the opportunity came about to go pro with Joe Gallagher.

The first two people I called were my mum and my cousin. This was because they see all the dark sides of boxing that people don’t see; like the time when I cried for two days after the Olympics when I got beaten by Katie Taylor. They go through all the camps with me and they assured me to not ever worry about my baby as she will always be looked after. They said that as long as I can do it, they were always behind me, supporting me. That was all I needed to hear, I contacted Joe and the rest was history.”

 

How difficult was it juggling being a mother and a boxer to begin with?

To be honest, my job might be different, but my experience of being a working mother isn’t. There are stereotypes of what a boxer is, but I’m lucky that all my mates have got kids around the same age. When I would say “I’m struggling a bit” with this or that, I had a support network and my family to be able to go back to. I’d like to think that this was no different really from any other working mum. It was just that the routine of my job was a bit different. I’d get her ready for school, I’d take her to school, I’d come to Bolton or I’d go to Liverpool to train if I needed, I’d do my two sessions and then I’d go home and pick her up from after school.

It was good during the lockdown, especially during the Terri Harper camp because she was able to come with me and get involved. She’s always known that mum’s a boxer and mum goes to the gym but she never actually knew what happened in the gym. And when she came along she was like, ‘Oh this is what happens!” She was counting all the lad’s reps and she was Joe’s number two! She loved giving me water in-between rounds of sparring. It was brilliant that she had that experience and when she is at home now, she knows what mum does at the gym. She’s so lucky in the sense that, it’s not only myself that she has to look up to, but she’s got a Nikita in women’s football.

Natasha Jonas Training
NATASHA JONAS TRAINING. IMAGES © BROOD MAGAZINE

[Nikita is Tash’s younger sister who plays football for Manchester United and the England “Lionesses” National team]

She has no interest in doing anything that I enjoy, but when it’s Nikita, she’s her hero and she’s like ‘I want to be like Auntie Kita!'”

What would you do if your daughter wanted to go into boxing?

“For everything that boxing has done for me. I could never grumble or complain. It’s not just about the skill of being able to box, I am determined, I’m hungry, I’m motivated by myself in the ring or as part of a team in the gym. I’m committed. I’d like to say I’m on time, but Joe might say different!

If you ask that employer what you want your employee to be like, they’d say all these things. They’re life skills that can propel you to be in sport or business. I’ve got a job at Sky now doing commentary and I’m on a Parliamentary group for boxing, the APPG Boxing Group. That would never have been possible, I was just a snotty nose kid from Toxteth. I didn’t think I’d be discussing acts with Parliament and the pathways for young female and male boxers. It’s opened those doors, so why wouldn’t I let my daughter do it? There are lots of skills there that boxing encourages.”

 

Do you think she’d be more likely to follow in Nikita’s footsteps?

“I’ll just be happy if she does a sport that I like to watch! She’s into dancing, gymnastics and karate so far. But, every Jonas I think since the eighties has done karate! I just encourage her to be active. I think it’s important. I think it’s positive for the mind, body and soul. “

 

The family will have been celebrating your sister, Nikita’s Euros win with England, what’s that been like?

Yeah, she’s my little girl’s hero, every time she’s on TV she’s like ‘That’s my auntie!’ It’s great and visibility has always been key to any sport. We always knew how good female boxing was. We just needed a platform to have it on. And we got that. And I think football’s got that at the minute. The whole sport and women’s sport is right on the crest of a wave and while we’ve got them eyes on us positively, we need to keep hold of that and go with it. Whether that’s a bit of tokenism, whether that’s whatever we’ve got it. So use it positively and inspire a generation, which was what the Olympics was about. And I know in boxing we’ve seen like a 50, 60% increase of the girls ready to box and football will be the same. It’s got to be from the grassroots up and young girls are going to be thinking ‘I want to be like ‘Nikita Paris’.

Any final advice for other working mums…

Yes, when you become a mum, do not give up on your dreams. A mum is what you are, not who you are. You’re still entitled to follow your dreams as well as be a mum. You don’t have to stop one for another.

I’m a bit more spiritual than I used to be, and someone said once: name three things that you love. So, I said, the baby, my mum, my dad. They said name three more. So, I said, brother, sister, nan. I kept going with others as they kept asking, the dog, work… I got to about number 20 and she said, “you haven’t said ‘you’ once.”

 

It’s made me realise it’s OK to put you first. If you’re not loving yourself and happy, how are you supposed to be that for another person. It’s important to consider, “who are you?” and not lose your identity and become, ‘just a mother’. I’m determined, I’m loving, I’m family oriented. I’m more than that.

 

 

Natasha Jonas has made a significant impact on women’s boxing in this country and has achieved huge things for her sport, her city, and her country. However, it is the way she was able to return to work and turn pro after having her child, that I found incredibly interesting and particularly relevant to some of the conversations I have every day.

Throughout our discussion, Tash affirmed that there doesn’t have to be a binary between being a parent and having a career. But, curating a family life where parents, particularly mothers, feel able to pursue an ambition outside of parenthood can, for some, feel unachievable. I hear from many colleagues and my wider network that returning to the workplace, whether that’s post-maternity leave or after a longer career break, can feel daunting bringing conflicting feelings of guilt, fear and insecurity.

Tash cited her close support network many times throughout our interview as playing a vital role in her ability to return to the ring after having her daughter, Mela. It’s often said it takes a village to raise a family and I can personally advocate for the power of having a trusted support network. Traditional connections in the form of family, friends and neighbours or more unconventional groups such as colleagues, teachers, gym buddies and community members can all provide a key anchor for working parents. Research indicates that when parents have a sense of connection with people who care about them, it provides a sense of security and confidence. As well as enabling practical benefits such as time and space having these kinds of connections allows them to share the joy and relieve the guilt, and uncertainties that come with the parenting role.

Indeed, as well as her drive and talent, it is the people around her who enable Tash to be high-performing sportsperson and high-performing mum. For many parents, nothing will assuage natural feelings of uncertainty, but with a trusted network and an open, empathetic employer you can create the bandwidth needed to pursue your personal and professional dreams.

Natasha Jonas will return to her home city of Liverpool for a world title unification fight against Patricia Berghult on September 3, live on Sky Sports.

Morson Group
MORSON GROUP INTERVIEW IMAGES © TOM PITFIELD PHOTOGRAPHY FOR BROOD MAGAZINE
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Morson Group
Interviewed by Morson Group
PHOTOGRAPHY BY TOM PITFIELD

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4 kids under 2, a career pivot and a dream | Adrian Adair meets DevOps engineer Tawfe’eq BaboU

4 kids under 2, a career pivot and a dream | Adrian Adair meets DevOps engineer Tawfe’eq BaboU

ADRIAN ADAIR OF MORSON GROUP INTERVIEWING Tawfe’eq Babou & HIS FAMILY

“It’s really important for kids to see where their parents work and what they do.”

In this article, our resident ‘Work’ writer and Morson Group COO, Adrian Adair, interviews DevOps Engineer Tawfe’eq Babou. They discuss leaping from marketing to a career in tech, finding balance with an ever-growing family, and his dreams of using digital skills to transform agriculture in Africa and turn the dial on food poverty.

—– I’ve seen first-hand how a career path isn’t linear, for many, it’s more like crazy paving. You’re not who you were 10 years ago; your personal life, socio-economic landscape, political climate, thoughts and opinions may not be the same, so why should your career be set in stone?

At Morson, we’re seeing that the trend of the ‘mid-life’ career pivot is on the rise, particularly within the tech world. The tech skills crisis coupled with industry-leading flexible working arrangements and digital-first learning opportunities, make tech an ideal space for those looking to get back into work after a career break or seeking to reskill in a completely different sphere.

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Adrian Adair Morson
ADRIAN ADAIR OF MORSON GROUP. IMAGES © TOM PITFIELD PHOTOGRAPHY FOR BROOD MAGAZINE
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I’m consistently impressed by individuals who have dared to make a career change and pursue what’s right for them, professionally and personally. Therefore, I was keen to explore this topic with someone who has lived it. My interview with Tawfe’eq was a testament to the power of the career pivot. It’s a conversation brimming with intrigue, honesty and inspiration, read on to discover the full story >

Our interview and photoshoot provided some wonderful Brood-esque moments as Tawfe’eq, his wife and twins collided with me and photographer, Tom Pitfield with his months-old baby Iris in Morson reception. A new baby, 2 excitable toddlers and 4 people desperately trying to adult, just another day in the life of a professional parent!

 

Let’s jump right into it. Tell me a little about your career to date?

I started in hospitality, then moved into retail and finally became a freelance digital marketer. I loved working with a range of clients in Manchester from fitness, fashion and music to corporate SMEs.

 

What was the catalyst for you to consider another career path?

When lockdown happened my digital marketing career went out of the door. As a freelancer, I had no job security and many clients dropped off because nobody knew what was going to happen.

At the same time, my wife told me she was pregnant. I was washing up at the time and I vividly remember just going into complete shock and cleaning the same plate for about 15 minutes. Because I bring in our primary income my immediate thought was ‘how am I going to provide for this child?’ We subsequently found out she was expecting twins which doubled the anxiety!

It was a very stressful and scary, but pivotal moment. I knew I had to change my career to provide. After the initial shock, I sat down and drew out a spider diagram with my name at the centre. I considered what am I good at? What am I interested in? What avenues have I not explored that have potential?

My mum was a real inspiration. Around 5 years ago she was fortunate enough, through her employer, to go to Oxford University and do a masters degree. Not only did she write her dissertation about the digital divide, which piqued my interest in tech, but she also showed me that a career is an ever-evolving thing and that learning and growing are natural, positive and essential. This took away some of the fear.

 

How did you decide that tech was the route you wanted to explore?

I had been doing an email marketing campaign for a friend and he had some issues with his WordPress website. I had never used WordPress at the time, but my friend said, ‘look, you’re more technical than me, just give it a go’, so I learned online, solved the problem and enjoyed it.

I started to explore this world a little bit more. I always thought you had to be a mathematics major or do a computer science degree to be a software engineer as that’s the traditional route a lot of my friends who were in the industry took. I’ve always struggled with maths, I went to high school in Ethiopia from 2006-2012 and their maths is extremely advanced, so I struggled even more. I’ve always had this fear that I wouldn’t be technically able to do something like programming. Thankfully the industry has come a long way, many people are self-taught and there are so many online learning resources.

I moved into DevOps through the apprenticeship firm QA Consulting. When I applied there, I had to take an aptitude test. It felt like less of a barrier to entry, less intimidating. Yes, there is a numeric test but there was also a personality and a logical thinking test to assess my aptitude. I passed and the rest is history. It was a big eye-opener that sometimes you don’t know until you try.

 

Adrian Adair Morson Group
ADRIAN ADAIR OF MORSON GROUP INTERVIEWING Tawfe’eq Babou, HIS WIFE AND THEIR CHILDREN. IMAGES © TOM PITFIELD PHOTOGRAPHY FOR BROOD MAGAZINE

To anyone unaware, could you explain what DevOps is?

DevOps is the bridge between software development and business operations. It’s not just understanding how to execute the technical aspects of a project, it’s managing the whole lifecycle i.e. understanding the requirements from the product owner, the programme specification, the customer base, the goals of the company and managing workloads, the project and stakeholders throughout the process. Cross-department communication and understanding is the difference between software development (whose main focus is making sure the code works and has been tested and debugged) and DevOps.

 

How have you seen your career in tech benefitting you and your family?

The immediate benefit for me is being able to work from home. Having twins who are under 2 is hard work. By being more available I’m able to support my wife and I’ve seen a boost in her energy levels. I also get to see my children more which makes us all happier. For some women, it can be difficult to maintain an identity outside of the family unit, so it’s really important to be able to support her so she can explore things she wants to do outside of being a mother. She’s always been such an independent person and I don’t want her to lose that. Through my work, she’s been looking at how she can develop professionally. Being able to find a solution for all of this through tech has been amazing.

Although, we’re pregnant again…

Wait, what, you’re pregnant again?!

Yes, haha. So we have twins, and we’re expecting twins again.

(Audible gasp)

Yes, it’s going to be a challenge for sure. To be honest with you if I wasn’t in my current career, I would hate to think how stressed I would be about it. I wouldn’t be working from home and I wouldn’t have the flexibility I’m currently afforded to support my family. But it’s not just that, working in tech has allowed me to dream about true career development. The idea that I won’t be in the same position in five years is motivating and job security is key. Having four children under the age of two won’t be a small task, but the benefits of working in tech all make it feel achievable and will hopefully make it a happy experience too.

 

Adrian Adair Morson Group
ADRIAN ADAIR OF MORSON GROUP INTERVIEWING Tawfe’eq Babou, HIS WIFE AND familY. IMAGES © TOM PITFIELD PHOTOGRAPHY FOR BROOD MAGAZINE

What advice would you give to people considering a career pivot?

One thing I would say is that things are always worse in your head. For example, if you think tech is this super technical thing which is unlearnable, you’re wrong.

So, my first piece of advice is to almost take a helicopter view of yourself. My pivotal moment was doing that spider diagram exercise; putting myself in the middle and matching my aspirations to my interests to my skills and trying to see the trends. Do your research and you will be very surprised at how many things you are interested in and how varied roles and opportunities are.

My second top tip is once you’ve chosen your route, get yourself a mentor. You’ll be so surprised how many people, no matter how busy or senior you perceive them to be, are willing to help, share their insight and connect you with others that will be able to help you in your career. One thing I’d say to people who are looking to get into tech, in particular, is that there are some amazing mentors here in Manchester that are willing and want to help and it’s such an amazing privilege to have access to that.

 

Would you like to give any of them a shoutout?

Yes! My Dad always used to say we are fishermen of people, you cast your net wide, keep the good, and throw the bad back in the water. These are the exceptional ones:

First, Naomi Timperley. I spoke to her initially at the Manchester Tech Festival and we arranged a coffee over Zoom where she set me some assignments; one was to talk at their next event. Having someone willing to give you advice and push you into action can be so impactful because it can be daunting coming into an industry for the first time. To have someone senior or who is an expert in the field have your back isn’t something I have seen outside of tech, to be honest.

Another person is James Akrigg, he’s ex-Head of Technology for Microsoft. I met him at the tech social as well. He’s another person who has given me advice, guidance and, most importantly, feedback.

 

Why is tech a great career option for those looking to re-skill?

The tech industry is booming not only with opportunity but with a fantastic network of diverse people who have different backgrounds and experiences. People are doing some amazing things for diversity in tech and addressing the digital divide. It’s refreshing. As a community, we must champion these facilitators to positively disrupt the industry.

What many people don’t appreciate, is that there are loads of non-technical roles within the tech industry too. I want people to understand they don’t need to be a mathematical genius to come into the digital realm because it is an amazing space. One thing I love about software development and DevOps is that you can take an idea and bring it into the real world and see it positively impact people. That’s so cool and empowering.

There is something for everybody in this space. Through recruitment and outreach programmes we need to help people understand there are so many transferrable skills in tech. People have ability based on aptitude and therefore ample opportunity to find a role in tech that they love and can excel in. As I said earlier, not every tech role is a technical role and we need to promote that. We need to show that tech is an open door and there is something for everybody. With tech being one of the fastest-growing economies there are huge opportunities here.

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What are your aspirations and where do you see yourself in the future?

I have a very personal ambition. I studied in Ethiopia and I have African heritage so the issues that affect the country are very real to me.

Specifically, I aim to use my skills in the digital arena to work on food loss preventative measures within East Africa. Africa loses enough calories to feed 1.7 billion people, three times a day every year. The idea that Africa suffers from famine for a lack of produce is largely incorrect. For example, in the UK we waste food, this waste is everything after it gets to the consumer – throwing food away after it goes off etc. In Africa or other developing countries, food waste happens before it gets to the consumer. Not having the correct packaging for produce, poor communication between farmers, suppliers and the marketplace are examples of this loss. In addition, lack of refrigeration causes toxins to get into the food which leads to illness, susceptibility to things like malaria and cholera and a long list of other issues.

Growing up in Africa seeing so much food but realising how little of it reaches the consumer was shocking to me, because I always assumed that the reason people go hungry is that they haven’t got it. But systems around the supply chain are so broken, that’s the main reason that these situations arise. Within five years I aim to be using tech to help solve these issues, helping farmers and suppliers to communicate across the supply chain accurately, implementing systems so data can be harnessed to help see what needs to be optimised and where processes fail. Better transparency across the supply chain is a big thing, but it’s solvable, and it’s solvable through tech.

 

I also hear you’re an advocate for digital literacy and you’ve also mentioned the digital divide. Could you tell us a little bit more about the issue and your activity in this area?

Of course, the digital divide means the difference between those who have access to the internet, computers and smart devices as opposed to demographics who don’t have access to the same resources. For example, Manchester City Council is still trying to get enough computers for students. We’re considered the second biggest city in the UK but we’re the sixth most deprived area in the UK.

And the reason the digital divide is so important is that pretty much everything has gone or is going digital. Every business is a digital business now, they all have a website or some other digital outreach, email, or social media. This means if you aren’t digitally able or haven’t had the resources to use these online platforms, you’re already going to be outskilled by the rest of the market. For example, a lot of homework is now done online and children that don’t have the access to computers or the internet are already falling behind.

I want to advocate for better digital literacy because technology is moving exponentially and as time goes by, if no action is taken the digital divide will become almost unclosable. I’d like to see a holistic approach to solving this issue; increased awareness of the digital divide coupled with private sector investment and a curriculum that serves the needs of our children’s futures.

 

—– It was a joy to meet Tawfe’eq and his growing family. I’d like to thank him for an inspirational and eye-opening discussion, personally champion his game-changing ambitions and offer support by focusing the conversation on the digital divide. I’d also like to wish them the best of luck as they juggle 4 kids under 2, a feat I can’t even comprehend!

As a lad originally from Blackpool I’ve personally seen the impact of digital poverty. It’s a topic I’m particularly passionate about and one of the main reasons we’re proud to partner with Manchester Tech Fest (MTF) a week-long event in Manchester in October. The festival is not only providing a space for the tech community to connect and inspire the next generation but is committed to finding practical solutions to breaking down the digital divide. I’d highly recommend for anyone looking to get into the tech industry to attend and get involved with the MTF community. Registrations for this year’s festival, together with more information regarding partners, sponsors, speakers, and exhibitors, can be found at www.manchestertechfestival.co.uk

If you, like Tawfe’eq are considering a career change, looking to take your first steps into tech or are interested in recruiting great people for your organisation, the tech team at Morson is on hand to help you every step of the way.

We’re also keen to speak with organisations who are considering offering training to develop and grow their workforce. As Tawfe-eq so clearly articulated there’s great people with aptitude and potential who just need an opportunity – whether that’s returning parents, career breakers, ex-forces personnel or ex-offenders. As a business, offering training enables you to develop and retain a workforce that fulfils your specific needs. We’re actively working with several organisations who are exploring this path to help guide and set a course for success. Get in touch at adrian.adair@morson.com to find out more.

 

Morson Group
Interviewed by Morson Group
PHOTOGRAPHY BY TOM PITFIELD

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DIARY OF A DADPRENEUR BY OLI DUNN

Oli DunnThe Diary Of A Dadpreneur...By Oli The Choc... Time Flies, but I’m not complaining! We’re just so bloody lucky to be here in the first place! The year flies by quick, but time flies when you’re having fun, even quicker when you have...

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