Honoring Loss and New Beginnings
For National Rainbow Baby Day, we spoke with Anastasia Shubareva-Epshtein—mum of one and founder of the Carea App—about her personal journey through loss, hope, and new beginnings. Anastasia opens up about the emotional complexities of pregnancy after loss, the importance of breaking the silence around miscarriage, and how her experiences inspired her to create a support-focused app for women navigating similar paths.
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August 22nd marks National Rainbow Baby Day, a day to honor the loss, the new beginning, and everything in between.
Having experienced a pregnancy after loss, I find it difficult to put into words how so many emotions can co-exist all at once. There was the absolute joy of being pregnant, especially after the grueling process of IVF. There was the all-consuming fear that I might miscarry again. And there was the guilt of feeling anxious, terrified, and elated in the same breath.
Holding Contradictions
National Rainbow Baby Day is also a reminder of how deeply human it is to hold these contradictions. Life is rarely simple. The heart-wrenching pain of loss and the overwhelming joy of a new pregnancy can sit side by side, sometimes only mere weeks or months apart.
Every day when I look at my beautiful rainbow baby today, I am also reminded of the baby we lost. People often say you should move on or get over it, but that never felt right. My angel baby is part of our story, and therefore always part of our family. To honor them, I wear a bracelet with the birthstone of the month they would have been due. That small ritual helps me feel a tangible connection to what could have been.
Breaking the Silence Around Miscarriage
1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage, yet it still remains such a taboo subject. Too often, people grieve in silence, worried about burdening others with something so heavy. But doesn’t the silence make it harder?
When I miscarried on Mother’s Day, of all days, the very first comfort I found was when my doctor quietly shared that she too had experienced two miscarriages. Knowing the statistics is certainly a start but it makes a world of a difference to actually hear the real and raw story from a woman sitting beside you, connecting through the pain we both have felt.
Why I Created Carea
It was this experience that led me to create Carea, a pregnancy and postpartum app designed to meet women exactly where they are emotionally. Our goal is to provide support that is trauma-informed, trigger-aware, and compassionate, especially for those navigating pregnancy after loss.
A Wish for Rainbow Baby Day
So on this Rainbow Baby Day, my wish is that more families feel able to speak about the babies they have lost. Sharing their stories honors those little lives and reminds anyone experiencing loss today that they are not to blame and they are not alone.
Both my angel baby and my rainbow baby certainly transformed me, and I carry them with me always.
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At Carea, we are currently looking to share real women’s stories about fertility, pregnancy, and postpartum to offer hope and inspiration to others walking similar paths. If you’d like to share your story (even anonymously), we’d be honored to feature it in our app and on our Instagram. Simply fill out our short questionnaire to take part.
Russell Kane & Lindsey Kane
“IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT COUPLES IN SOCIETY DO, IF THEY AGREE TO ROLLING AROUND IN THEIR HIPPY BED, LETTING THEIR BABY SUCK ON THEIR T**S UNTIL YOU’RE BOTH 60, IF THAT’S WHAT YOU WANT – NO ONE SHOULD JUDGE ANYONE, I JUST THINK IT’S REALLY IMPORTANT TO AGREE ON HOW YOU WANT TO RAISE YOUR KID BEFOREHAND.”
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