Ryan Libbey didn’t plan on stepping into the public eye. But fatherhood—and a traumatic first year after the birth of his son—reshaped his understanding of strength, partnership, and what modern masculinity can look like when nobody’s watching. Now, he’s using his platform to create space for other dads to feel less alone.

Ryan regularly shares personal letters to his son, Leo, with a growing audience who return weekly for his honest reflections on life, love, and the lessons he’s learning as a dad. His writing moves between the big conversations—the manosphere, resilience, hope—and the quiet, everyday moments that define family life.

From London Personal Trainer to Public Life

BROOD: Tell us a little bit about your backstory. What led you to where you are today?

Ryan: I’ve been living in London for the past 12 years, and for 10 of those I’ve been with my partner, Louise. When I first moved here, I was working in central London as a personal trainer, and somewhere in that journey, I met Louise and honestly, things changed overnight.

We were dating in secret for about five months. Then I went to visit her in the south of France because she was filming a summer series… and we got papped. Because of that photo, the producers of Made in Chelsea wanted to run the story on the show. By default, I ended up doing the show for three years. I didn’t really like it—reality TV can be manipulative and a weird distance from real life. Eventually, we stepped away… and then we started a family.

The Deep End of Fatherhood

Ryan: We’ve got a four-and-a-half-year-old, Leo. He’s wonderful—healthy and happy—but he didn’t have the best start. His mum had three really serious postpartum haemorrhages, and they were nasty. Basically, everything that could’ve gone wrong in that moment kind of did, sadly.

Because of that, she was completely removed from parenting for definitely the first year, but the road to recovery has probably taken the best part of three. There are lasting scars mentally, physically, emotionally for everyone in the family. She’s in a much better place now, which means the whole family feels a lot more settled, but that first year was really intense.

I was the primary caregiver to Louise, but I was also solo parenting Leo. That first year of being a dad was really tough. I learned a lot about life and resilience, and about trying to find some inner strength. Fortunately, I was able to do that—but it put me through the wringer.

Redefining What Strength Means

BROOD: How did you view strength from a male perspective before, and what changed?

Ryan: In my younger years, strength was a lot more performative. I’d go to the gym, try to slap on some muscle, enter races, do fitness competitions—all that stuff. Then this happened, and it completely flipped the script on my perspective. In a warped way, it nudged me onto a path where I’ve got a much deeper appreciation for inner strength.

The other thing I learned is how to open up and communicate. In that first year, I thought if I handled everything, that would relieve stress so Louise could focus on getting better. But all she really needed was for me to hold her hand and talk. I held everything down alone for a year, and it broke me—and it nearly broke our relationship. Strength isn’t performative. It’s those quiet moments. It’s the 3 ams where no one’s around, and you’ve just got to adapt and let your character unfold.

Finding Beauty in the Scars: The Kintsugi Philosophy

BROOD: You spoke on your podcast about kintsugi—the idea of beauty in the scars. Has that been a catalyst for finding beauty in the emotional and physical scars?

Ryan: I read a lot about Japanese philosophies, and kintsugi was the one that jumped out at me. Louise had survived all these surgeries around the birth and then had to have a colostomy, so she’s now got an external bag. That’s life-changing.

I was in conversation on our podcast where Louise was talking about all her scars and how different her body looked now. I was looking at her thinking: you’ve endured so much, you’ve survived so much. I wanted to offer a refreshed perspective. I think a lot of new parents lose that old identity and try to get back to the old version. But you can’t always go back—you’ve evolved. With kintsugi, I wanted to make her feel beautiful again. It landed with her, and it connected with and healed a whole load of other people too.

Challenging the Manosphere & Building the Dadsphere

BROOD: You’ve spoken about ‘making the wrong men famous’ following the noise around the Manosphere. How do we flip the narrative to amplify the good guys?

Ryan: You’re doing it—that’s why I was excited to do this with BROOD. This isn’t about a cover or a magazine feature. It’s about contributing to a wider mission: showing what modern masculinity looks like. Someone might pick up your magazine or listen to my podcast, and it might instil something or shift something. We need to give the good guys a crack and amplify them.

Solo Parenting & Breaking Stigmas

BROOD: Being the primary caregiver for a full year, did you ever get comments like “Are you babysitting?” or “Giving mum a break?”

Ryan: Yeah, I did, quite a few times. In the early days, I’d take Leo to baby swimming, Monkey Music, soft play… it would just be him and me. I remember the looks from women—more surprise than anything. At first, it got under my skin, but then I realized there was an opportunity to set a new standard. If I keep showing up consistently, something will change. I’ve actually seen it at nursery; I used to be the only dad, but now there are a lot of dads.

“He’s the Mirror Held Up to Me Every Day”

BROOD: In what ways have you seen Leo copy your actions, and how important is it to be a good role model for him?

Ryan: It’s very important that I set a good standard for him, and I’m aware of it every day. A few months ago, we were near a busy road. Instead of going around the bus stop, I stepped into the cycle path for what I thought would be two seconds. I looked up, and he was in the cycle path copying my exact move. That was one of those moments where it hit me: he copies everything.

And it’s not just that—it’s how I interact, how Louise and I handle the inevitable clashes. I want him to see reconciliation and know you can fix it. He’s the mirror held up to me every day. I want him to be better than me in every way. That’s the job, isn’t it?

Letters to Leo & The Future

Ryan: The “Letters to Leo” came in because I wanted to develop my writing skills and bring Leo along on the journey. I’m trying to story-tell real-life moments with him on the podcast, through my writing, and hopefully in a series of children’s books following the journey of a father and son growing up side by side.

It’s a two-way experience—he shows me his interpretation of the world, and he makes me laugh and learn. We’re building a movement of present dads, and showing that modern masculinity isn’t a brand—it’s how you show up.