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Interview with Mother Pukka AKA Anna Whitehouse

__________________________________

54,000 women every year are locked out of the workforce for daring to have a baby

The inspirational Anna Whitehouse aka Mother Pukka is a Mum of two, soon to be three girls, a writer, podcast host, campaigner for flexible working and founder of Flex Appeal.

Anna is formidable in her pursuit for equality in the workplace, fuelled by her passion to ensure that her girls, or any girls, don’t face a future where you can have your career snatched away from you just because you dared to have a baby; sadly this is something that Anna experienced first hand.

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Interview with Mother PUKKA AKA ANNA Whitehouse

__________________________________

54,000 women every year are locked out of the workforce for daring to have a baby

The inspirational Anna Whitehouse aka Mother Pukka is a Mum of two, soon to be three girls, a writer, podcast host, campaigner for flexible working and founder of Flex Appeal.

Anna is formidable in her pursuit for equality in the workplace, fuelled by her passion to ensure that her girls, or any girls, don’t face a future where you can have your career snatched away from you just because you dared to have a baby; sadly this is something that Anna experienced first hand.

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You’ve recently posted, I’m not sorry, where you mentioned that when you returned to work after having your first two children, you returned almost ‘smaller’ and quite apologetic. You have shared your understandable frustrations around that. How different will the experience be for you this time around? Do you feel stronger than you did previously?

Anna: “I’m just not taking it anymore, you know. %91Anna talks passionately%93 I think things have and are changing; it’s not a case of employers changing things, I think women are changing things because we’re 50% of the population and we’re just saying ‘No!’. We’re saying, ‘No, call my daughter’s father as well as me when she’s in nursery!’ (And that’s nothing against the amazing key workers who work with our children.) But the expectation, the bulk of childcare, is still strapped firmly to female shoulders. It’s not that we’re fighting some revolution. It’s evolution. That’s the difference. And I think people see that, with the work I do, the work the ‘Pregnant Then Screwed’ group does, the work that the Fawcett Society does – all these amazing organisations shine a light on this. People say to me ‘Oh my God, this is big what you’re all doing!’ and I’m like, no, it’s what it should have been there in the first place! That’s what equality is. It’s rebalancing a system that is structured and built for women, specifically mothers to fail. So I am not apologising anymore for a system that is set up for me, for my daughters, for my daughter’s-daughter’s to fail. It’s not my fault. It’s not your fault. and it needs fixing!”

Is it that personal experience that inspired you to start Flex Appeal? (The campaign for more flexible working for everyone)

Anna: “I think when I started speaking about the other side of the motherhood story, which wasn’t just about what maternity bag to buy or, ‘how to pack your hospital bag.’ It was about the real-time frustrations around giving up, not just work, but your purpose, of yourself, the expectation that you just step back. I decided, actually, do you know what this needs? Governmental change. This needs structural change. So that is when I launched Flex Appeal, which was our lobbying body/platform/organisation for the exhausted women in the street shouting, ‘ I don’t care what you want to call me %91for being me%93!’ It’s that drive to change not just the narrative, but legislation. I just thought, there’s no way through this unless legislation changes for men and women. And I think that’s the big point here. This isn’t just about mums. This is about parents! It’s about dads who are just desperately frustrated that their employer won’t enable them to work flexibly because it’s seen as a ‘her-in-doors’ job still.

I say, the unconscious bias, but it’s a conscious bias that sits right there. So I needed a campaign to hook this on. That would have me, my little daughter at the time, my second daughter, and maybe this one now %91she points to her unborn child%93 knocking on the doors of Whitehall and just saying, what are you doing about the 54,000 women every year that are locked out of the workforce for daring to have a baby? Like, that’s a ridiculous amount. And that doesn’t even include gagging orders, NDA’s, etc, so you could probably quadruple that number you know.”

After 10 years of campaignin, how are you feeling now that it was recently announced the current government has decided to start the ball rolling? And how long do you think it will take to be implemented?

Yeah. Three babies, one decade, and one campaign %91she laughs.%93 I will say the proof is in the pudding because there’ve been so many governmental, political promises and until it actually happens, I don’t and I won’t believe it. So in some ways I’m taking it with a pinch of salt.

It’s quite monumental, but until flexible working is by default, that it is just assumed across the board instead of fought for, the onus is still on the employees. Until that structure changes, I won’t see any level of success. But what I would love to see, before that time is don’t wait for the laws to change if you’re an employer. Don’t take the stick approach, take the carrot approach. Why aren’t you thinking about how you can retain this brilliant talent? You’re not doing us a favour. We’re great. We’re talented. You’re cutting us out at our prime when we know so much and then you have to get somebody else in and %91have to%93 train them up. So it’s about businesses too really. I want to see cultural change. I want to see. For example a dad messaged me, and he told me that he had put his request flexible in and it was rejected on the basis that they said, ‘Can’t your ‘missus’ do that?’ That was in 2023? %91she sighs in disbelief and goes onto answer the question herself…%93 ‘You know what, No. His ‘missus’ might be working elsewhere, or might be a brain surgeon, or you know, might be doing something else. So no, the assumption that ‘her-in-doors,’ ‘ya missus,’ ‘the mum’, the ‘primary caregiver’ should automatically pick up that childcare slack, is so inherently wrong. So I want to see a cultural change around that employer going, yes, absolutely, pick up your daughter from nursery because of the old hapless dad trope, you know, ‘daddy daycare’ or ‘babysitting my children.’ any of that – we’re done with it! Like you’re parenting. I think that it’s language like that that we need to start using: parenting, parental leave, not just maternity leave. Lets unite the two sides of the procreation coin. It takes two to tango. So you know there won’t be equality unless we recognise those two sides.

” content_phone=”

You’ve recently posted, I’m not sorry, where you mentioned that when you returned to work after having your first two children, you returned almost ‘smaller’ and quite apologetic. You have shared your understandable frustrations around that. How different will the experience be for you this time around? Do you feel stronger than you did previously?

Anna: “I’m just not taking it anymore, you know. %91Anna talks passionately%93 I think things have and are changing; it’s not a case of employers changing things, I think women are changing things because we’re 50% of the population and we’re just saying ‘No!’. We’re saying, ‘No, call my daughter’s father as well as me when she’s in nursery!’ (And that’s nothing against the amazing key workers who work with our children.) But the expectation, the bulk of childcare, is still strapped firmly to female shoulders. It’s not that we’re fighting some revolution. It’s evolution. That’s the difference. And I think people see that, with the work I do, the work the ‘Pregnant Then Screwed’ group does, the work that the Fawcett Society does – all these amazing organisations shine a light on this. People say to me ‘Oh my God, this is big what you’re all doing!’ and I’m like, no, it’s what it should have been there in the first place! That’s what equality is. It’s rebalancing a system that is structured and built for women, specifically mothers to fail. So I am not apologising anymore for a system that is set up for me, for my daughters, for my daughter’s-daughter’s to fail. It’s not my fault. It’s not your fault. and it needs fixing!”

Is it that personal experience that inspired you to start Flex Appeal? (The campaign for more flexible working for everyone)

Anna: “I think when I started speaking about the other side of the motherhood story, which wasn’t just about what maternity bag to buy or, ‘how to pack your hospital bag.’ It was about the real-time frustrations around giving up, not just work, but your purpose, of yourself, the expectation that you just step back. I decided, actually, do you know what this needs? Governmental change. This needs structural change. So that is when I launched Flex Appeal, which was our lobbying body/platform/organisation for the exhausted women in the street shouting, ‘ I don’t care what you want to call me %91for being me%93!’ It’s that drive to change not just the narrative, but legislation. I just thought, there’s no way through this unless legislation changes for men and women. And I think that’s the big point here. This isn’t just about mums. This is about parents! It’s about dads who are just desperately frustrated that their employer won’t enable them to work flexibly because it’s seen as a ‘her-in-doors’ job still.

I say, the unconscious bias, but it’s a conscious bias that sits right there. So I needed a campaign to hook this on. That would have me, my little daughter at the time, my second daughter, and maybe this one now %91she points to her unborn child%93 knocking on the doors of Whitehall and just saying, what are you doing about the 54,000 women every year that are locked out of the workforce for daring to have a baby? Like, that’s a ridiculous amount. And that doesn’t even include gagging orders, NDA’s, etc, so you could probably quadruple that number you know.”

After 10 years of campaignin, how are you feeling now that it was recently announced the current government has decided to start the ball rolling? And how long do you think it will take to be implemented?

Yeah. Three babies, one decade, and one campaign %91she laughs.%93 I will say the proof is in the pudding because there’ve been so many governmental, political promises and until it actually happens, I don’t and I won’t believe it. So in some ways I’m taking it with a pinch of salt.

It’s quite monumental, but until flexible working is by default, that it is just assumed across the board instead of fought for, the onus is still on the employees. Until that structure changes, I won’t see any level of success. But what I would love to see, before that time is don’t wait for the laws to change if you’re an employer. Don’t take the stick approach, take the carrot approach. Why aren’t you thinking about how you can retain this brilliant talent? You’re not doing us a favour. We’re great. We’re talented. You’re cutting us out at our prime when we know so much and then you have to get somebody else in and %91have to%93 train them up. So it’s about businesses too really. I want to see cultural change. I want to see. For example a dad messaged me, and he told me that he had put his request flexible in and it was rejected on the basis that they said, ‘Can’t your ‘missus’ do that?’ That was in 2023? %91she sighs in disbelief and goes onto answer the question herself…%93 ‘You know what, No. His ‘missus’ might be working elsewhere, or might be a brain surgeon, or you know, might be doing something else. So no, the assumption that ‘her-in-doors,’ ‘ya missus,’ ‘the mum’, the ‘primary caregiver’ should automatically pick up that childcare slack, is so inherently wrong. So I want to see a cultural change around that employer going, yes, absolutely, pick up your daughter from nursery because of the old hapless dad trope, you know, ‘daddy daycare’ or ‘babysitting my children.’ any of that – we’re done with it! Like you’re parenting. I think that it’s language like that that we need to start using: parenting, parental leave, not just maternity leave. Lets unite the two sides of the procreation coin. It takes two to tango. So you know there won’t be equality unless we recognise those two sides.

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“…My daughter initially said to me, ‘Mummy, sometimes I think you don’t like me very much when you’re on the phone.”

What has been the most challenging time in your life since having to juggle both work and parenthood?

Anna: “I think this is probably something every one of your readers has gone through. Regardless of whether you are, I hate the term stay-at-home-mum because no parent stays at home, you’re out doing things all the time and everyone’s a full time mum. I think it’s really offensive when you hear, I’m a full time mum. Well no actually, I’m a full time mum too. Everyone’s a full time mum because even when you’re working, you’re still carrying the weight of parenting at the same time, That’s why it’s heavy for us all at times. The administration of that %91parenting%93. You’re carrying your child from birth to primary school even at secondary school and beyond. I think a lot of your readers would probably relate here, regardless of, if you’re a ‘stay-at-home mum’ or, you know, you work, in an office or away… when that moment where your child says ‘Mummy, why are you on your phone?’ And there’s this moment that happens, in every single parent’s day where you’re caught between everything you need to do and just being with your child. My daughter initially said to me, ‘mummy, sometimes I think you don’t like me very much when you’re on the phone.’ And it broke me. So that is the kind of thing that is challenging. It’s trying to mentally balance the love I have for them, knowing that my heart is with them, but my head is with my mortgage, with the things I need to add structure to their lives, safety, security and recognising that is also love for them. And I’m actually split in the middle and I think that our phones are quite representative of that split, that divide, that tension. Because what parent hasn’t said to their child. ‘Just a minute, just a minute.’ And then they look at you and they say, ‘has it been a minute yet.’ And you’re like, ‘just a second’ and then they’ll ask ‘Is it a second yet?.’ Then you can feel yourself rising and you feel that feeling in your chest, because what you’re trying to do is answer an email or message or a client request in the middle of maybe cooking their dinner, or do one of the thousand other things that need doing. You can then get to a point where you lose it. And I lost it the other day, I said ‘if you don’t stop fighting (over some toy that neither of them cared about) …if you don’t stop doing that, Mum is going to lose her temperature!’ And as I said temperature, they just burst out laughing. %91She laughs%93 But that’s kind of how it feels. You’re kind of like a kettle boiling. And as you do lose your temperature, you lose your temper, you lose your marbles, you lose your mind! You know, there’s so much loss in motherhood. There’s loss of hair. There’s a loss of glow. You know, you go from pregnant to not pregnant. There’s lots of skin that used to be firm and isn’t anymore. There’s loss of self. There’s loss of conversation etc. But in all of that, in the fragments of that loss, you find yourself. The best bit of standing in the middle of what can seem like rubble is looking at my two little girls and thinking, ‘I get to be your mother, I get to be your parent.” But yes, all that extra pressure that comes with being a mum I would say probably remains the most challenging job Mother Nature could ever bestow %91she laughs.%93”

And to end on a high note, what has been the highlight of your career so far?”

Anna: “I think the highlight of my career is actually, moments with my two girls. I’m really trying to carve that time out. I think it’s really easy to go to kind of accolades or moments or legislation or, you know, maybe hosting something or quite big tangible things, but the biggest thing for me is reclaiming time with them. That’s my success story. Time that I know a more archaic employer would have taken from me. So I think it’s probably sitting on the sofa on a Sunday morning, when we’re all in our PJs, whilst they eat Cheerios and you end up with one in your bra stuck to you. Those moments where they are snuggled up with you, and you can feel the warmth of their little bodies, whilst watching some inane cartoon; those are the moments you live for.

If I was going to say on a tangible level, it would be changing the law of flexible working. The flexible working bill that came into effect in April of this year. I didn’t do it on my own though, there were a hell of a lot of other organisations involved in that. But the reason that matters is because it’s something where I can say to my little girls, I did that because I’m not letting you go through what I went through. %91Anna voice quivers and her eyes fill with tears%93 I’m not letting you go through that. I just couldn’t. I couldn’t watch them go do their ABCs, and then their GCSEs and their A-levels and maybe get that first job. You know when you get a phone on a computer. Going from the excitement of that to then having someone take it away. I’m not letting them go through that. That’s what happened to me and it’s certainly not happening to this one %91She rubs her stomach%93 So yeah, I think it’s to change the structure of the world that has written us, as little girls, off!”

You can follow the inspirational Anna Whitehouse on Instagram @Mother_Pukka or visit her website: www.motherpukka.co.uk/

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“…My daughter initially said to me, ‘Mummy, sometimes I think you don’t like me very much when you’re on the phone.”

What has been the most challenging time in your life since having to juggle both work and parenthood?

Anna: “I think this is probably something every one of your readers has gone through. Regardless of whether you are, I hate the term stay-at-home-mum because no parent stays at home, you’re out doing things all the time and everyone’s a full time mum. I think it’s really offensive when you hear, I’m a full time mum. Well no actually, I’m a full time mum too. Everyone’s a full time mum because even when you’re working, you’re still carrying the weight of parenting at the same time, That’s why it’s heavy for us all at times. The administration of that %91parenting%93. You’re carrying your child from birth to primary school even at secondary school and beyond. I think a lot of your readers would probably relate here, regardless of, if you’re a ‘stay-at-home mum’ or, you know, you work, in an office or away… when that moment where your child says ‘Mummy, why are you on your phone?’ And there’s this moment that happens, in every single parent’s day where you’re caught between everything you need to do and just being with your child. My daughter initially said to me, ‘mummy, sometimes I think you don’t like me very much when you’re on the phone.’ And it broke me. So that is the kind of thing that is challenging. It’s trying to mentally balance the love I have for them, knowing that my heart is with them, but my head is with my mortgage, with the things I need to add structure to their lives, safety, security and recognising that is also love for them. And I’m actually split in the middle and I think that our phones are quite representative of that split, that divide, that tension. Because what parent hasn’t said to their child. ‘Just a minute, just a minute.’ And then they look at you and they say, ‘has it been a minute yet.’ And you’re like, ‘just a second’ and then they’ll ask ‘Is it a second yet?.’ Then you can feel yourself rising and you feel that feeling in your chest, because what you’re trying to do is answer an email or message or a client request in the middle of maybe cooking their dinner, or do one of the thousand other things that need doing. You can then get to a point where you lose it. And I lost it the other day, I said ‘if you don’t stop fighting (over some toy that neither of them cared about) …if you don’t stop doing that, Mum is going to lose her temperature!’ And as I said temperature, they just burst out laughing. %91She laughs%93 But that’s kind of how it feels. You’re kind of like a kettle boiling. And as you do lose your temperature, you lose your temper, you lose your marbles, you lose your mind! You know, there’s so much loss in motherhood. There’s loss of hair. There’s a loss of glow. You know, you go from pregnant to not pregnant. There’s lots of skin that used to be firm and isn’t anymore. There’s loss of self. There’s loss of conversation etc. But in all of that, in the fragments of that loss, you find yourself. The best bit of standing in the middle of what can seem like rubble is looking at my two little girls and thinking, ‘I get to be your mother, I get to be your parent.” But yes, all that extra pressure that comes with being a mum I would say probably remains the most challenging job Mother Nature could ever bestow %91she laughs.%93”

And to end on a high note, what has been the highlight of your career so far?”

Anna: “I think the highlight of my career is actually, moments with my two girls. I’m really trying to carve that time out. I think it’s really easy to go to kind of accolades or moments or legislation or, you know, maybe hosting something or quite big tangible things, but the biggest thing for me is reclaiming time with them. That’s my success story. Time that I know a more archaic employer would have taken from me. So I think it’s probably sitting on the sofa on a Sunday morning, when we’re all in our PJs, whilst they eat Cheerios and you end up with one in your bra stuck to you. Those moments where they are snuggled up with you, and you can feel the warmth of their little bodies, whilst watching some inane cartoon; those are the moments you live for.

If I was going to say on a tangible level, it would be changing the law of flexible working. The flexible working bill that came into effect in April of this year. I didn’t do it on my own though, there were a hell of a lot of other organisations involved in that. But the reason that matters is because it’s something where I can say to my little girls, I did that because I’m not letting you go through what I went through. %91Anna voice quivers and her eyes fill with tears%93 I’m not letting you go through that. I just couldn’t. I couldn’t watch them go do their ABCs, and then their GCSEs and their A-levels and maybe get that first job. You know when you get a phone on a computer. Going from the excitement of that to then having someone take it away. I’m not letting them go through that. That’s what happened to me and it’s certainly not happening to this one %91She rubs her stomach%93 So yeah, I think it’s to change the structure of the world that has written us, as little girls, off!”

You can follow the inspirational Anna Whitehouse on Instagram @Mother_Pukka or visit her website: www.motherpukka.co.uk/

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“ I’d pivoted from a successful career as a screenwriter, director and producer working in tv and film to ‘storttelling’ online fulltime, as my former job had proved completely incompatible with motherhood”

[/et_pb_text][et_pb_divider _builder_version=”4.23.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||11px|||” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text content_tablet=”

You’ve recently posted, I’m not sorry, where you mentioned that when you returned to work after having your first two children, you returned almost ‘smaller’ and quite apologetic. You have shared your understandable frustrations around that. How different will the experience be for you this time around? Do you feel stronger than you did previously?

Anna: “I’m just not taking it anymore, you know. %91Anna talks passionately%93 I think things have and are changing; it’s not a case of employers changing things, I think women are changing things because we’re 50% of the population and we’re just saying ‘No!’. We’re saying, ‘No, call my daughter’s father as well as me when she’s in nursery!’ (And that’s nothing against the amazing key workers who work with our children.) But the expectation, the bulk of childcare, is still strapped firmly to female shoulders. It’s not that we’re fighting some revolution. It’s evolution. That’s the difference. And I think people see that, with the work I do, the work the ‘Pregnant Then Screwed’ group does, the work that the Fawcett Society does – all these amazing organisations shine a light on this. People say to me ‘Oh my God, this is big what you’re all doing!’ and I’m like, no, it’s what it should have been there in the first place! That’s what equality is. It’s rebalancing a system that is structured and built for women, specifically mothers to fail. So I am not apologising anymore for a system that is set up for me, for my daughters, for my daughter’s-daughter’s to fail. It’s not my fault. It’s not your fault. and it needs fixing!”

Is it that personal experience that inspired you to start Flex Appeal? (The campaign for more flexible working for everyone)

Anna: “I think when I started speaking about the other side of the motherhood story, which wasn’t just about what maternity bag to buy or, ‘how to pack your hospital bag.’ It was about the real-time frustrations around giving up, not just work, but your purpose, of yourself, the expectation that you just step back. I decided, actually, do you know what this needs? Governmental change. This needs structural change. So that is when I launched Flex Appeal, which was our lobbying body/platform/organisation for the exhausted women in the street shouting, ‘ I don’t care what you want to call me %91for being me%93!’ It’s that drive to change not just the narrative, but legislation. I just thought, there’s no way through this unless legislation changes for men and women. And I think that’s the big point here. This isn’t just about mums. This is about parents! It’s about dads who are just desperately frustrated that their employer won’t enable them to work flexibly because it’s seen as a ‘her-in-doors’ job still.

I say, the unconscious bias, but it’s a conscious bias that sits right there. So I needed a campaign to hook this on. That would have me, my little daughter at the time, my second daughter, and maybe this one now %91she points to her unborn child%93 knocking on the doors of Whitehall and just saying, what are you doing about the 54,000 women every year that are locked out of the workforce for daring to have a baby? Like, that’s a ridiculous amount. And that doesn’t even include gagging orders, NDA’s, etc, so you could probably quadruple that number you know.”

After 10 years of campaignin, how are you feeling now that it was recently announced the current government has decided to start the ball rolling? And how long do you think it will take to be implemented?

Yeah. Three babies, one decade, and one campaign %91she laughs.%93 I will say the proof is in the pudding because there’ve been so many governmental, political promises and until it actually happens, I don’t and I won’t believe it. So in some ways I’m taking it with a pinch of salt.

It’s quite monumental, but until flexible working is by default, that it is just assumed across the board instead of fought for, the onus is still on the employees. Until that structure changes, I won’t see any level of success. But what I would love to see, before that time is don’t wait for the laws to change if you’re an employer. Don’t take the stick approach, take the carrot approach. Why aren’t you thinking about how you can retain this brilliant talent? You’re not doing us a favour. We’re great. We’re talented. You’re cutting us out at our prime when we know so much and then you have to get somebody else in and %91have to%93 train them up. So it’s about businesses too really. I want to see cultural change. I want to see. For example a dad messaged me, and he told me that he had put his request flexible in and it was rejected on the basis that they said, ‘Can’t your ‘missus’ do that?’ That was in 2023? %91she sighs in disbelief and goes onto answer the question herself…%93 ‘You know what, No. His ‘missus’ might be working elsewhere, or might be a brain surgeon, or you know, might be doing something else. So no, the assumption that ‘her-in-doors,’ ‘ya missus,’ ‘the mum’, the ‘primary caregiver’ should automatically pick up that childcare slack, is so inherently wrong. So I want to see a cultural change around that employer going, yes, absolutely, pick up your daughter from nursery because of the old hapless dad trope, you know, ‘daddy daycare’ or ‘babysitting my children.’ any of that – we’re done with it! Like you’re parenting. I think that it’s language like that that we need to start using: parenting, parental leave, not just maternity leave. Lets unite the two sides of the procreation coin. It takes two to tango. So you know there won’t be equality unless we recognise those two sides.

” content_phone=”

You’ve recently posted, I’m not sorry, where you mentioned that when you returned to work after having your first two children, you returned almost ‘smaller’ and quite apologetic. You have shared your understandable frustrations around that. How different will the experience be for you this time around? Do you feel stronger than you did previously?

Anna: “I’m just not taking it anymore, you know. %91Anna talks passionately%93 I think things have and are changing; it’s not a case of employers changing things, I think women are changing things because we’re 50% of the population and we’re just saying ‘No!’. We’re saying, ‘No, call my daughter’s father as well as me when she’s in nursery!’ (And that’s nothing against the amazing key workers who work with our children.) But the expectation, the bulk of childcare, is still strapped firmly to female shoulders. It’s not that we’re fighting some revolution. It’s evolution. That’s the difference. And I think people see that, with the work I do, the work the ‘Pregnant Then Screwed’ group does, the work that the Fawcett Society does – all these amazing organisations shine a light on this. People say to me ‘Oh my God, this is big what you’re all doing!’ and I’m like, no, it’s what it should have been there in the first place! That’s what equality is. It’s rebalancing a system that is structured and built for women, specifically mothers to fail. So I am not apologising anymore for a system that is set up for me, for my daughters, for my daughter’s-daughter’s to fail. It’s not my fault. It’s not your fault. and it needs fixing!”

Is it that personal experience that inspired you to start Flex Appeal? (The campaign for more flexible working for everyone)

Anna: “I think when I started speaking about the other side of the motherhood story, which wasn’t just about what maternity bag to buy or, ‘how to pack your hospital bag.’ It was about the real-time frustrations around giving up, not just work, but your purpose, of yourself, the expectation that you just step back. I decided, actually, do you know what this needs? Governmental change. This needs structural change. So that is when I launched Flex Appeal, which was our lobbying body/platform/organisation for the exhausted women in the street shouting, ‘ I don’t care what you want to call me %91for being me%93!’ It’s that drive to change not just the narrative, but legislation. I just thought, there’s no way through this unless legislation changes for men and women. And I think that’s the big point here. This isn’t just about mums. This is about parents! It’s about dads who are just desperately frustrated that their employer won’t enable them to work flexibly because it’s seen as a ‘her-in-doors’ job still.

I say, the unconscious bias, but it’s a conscious bias that sits right there. So I needed a campaign to hook this on. That would have me, my little daughter at the time, my second daughter, and maybe this one now %91she points to her unborn child%93 knocking on the doors of Whitehall and just saying, what are you doing about the 54,000 women every year that are locked out of the workforce for daring to have a baby? Like, that’s a ridiculous amount. And that doesn’t even include gagging orders, NDA’s, etc, so you could probably quadruple that number you know.”

After 10 years of campaignin, how are you feeling now that it was recently announced the current government has decided to start the ball rolling? And how long do you think it will take to be implemented?

Yeah. Three babies, one decade, and one campaign %91she laughs.%93 I will say the proof is in the pudding because there’ve been so many governmental, political promises and until it actually happens, I don’t and I won’t believe it. So in some ways I’m taking it with a pinch of salt.

It’s quite monumental, but until flexible working is by default, that it is just assumed across the board instead of fought for, the onus is still on the employees. Until that structure changes, I won’t see any level of success. But what I would love to see, before that time is don’t wait for the laws to change if you’re an employer. Don’t take the stick approach, take the carrot approach. Why aren’t you thinking about how you can retain this brilliant talent? You’re not doing us a favour. We’re great. We’re talented. You’re cutting us out at our prime when we know so much and then you have to get somebody else in and %91have to%93 train them up. So it’s about businesses too really. I want to see cultural change. I want to see. For example a dad messaged me, and he told me that he had put his request flexible in and it was rejected on the basis that they said, ‘Can’t your ‘missus’ do that?’ That was in 2023? %91she sighs in disbelief and goes onto answer the question herself…%93 ‘You know what, No. His ‘missus’ might be working elsewhere, or might be a brain surgeon, or you know, might be doing something else. So no, the assumption that ‘her-in-doors,’ ‘ya missus,’ ‘the mum’, the ‘primary caregiver’ should automatically pick up that childcare slack, is so inherently wrong. So I want to see a cultural change around that employer going, yes, absolutely, pick up your daughter from nursery because of the old hapless dad trope, you know, ‘daddy daycare’ or ‘babysitting my children.’ any of that – we’re done with it! Like you’re parenting. I think that it’s language like that that we need to start using: parenting, parental leave, not just maternity leave. Lets unite the two sides of the procreation coin. It takes two to tango. So you know there won’t be equality unless we recognise those two sides.

” content_last_edited=”off|desktop” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_padding=”15px|29px|30px|29px||” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]

Can you tell us a bit about the stories and how you think they’ll resonate with young readers?

 

The Greek Myths each have a moral behind them, and I include a section at the end of each one titled Moral of the Myth to help children understand and further explore the stories, often making parallels with well-known fairy tales which came after the myths. The ancient Greeks believed 12 powerful gods lived on Mount Olympus, but that they were as flawed and complex as the human mortals they governed over. The myths tell the stories of deities and mortals who made bad decisions, for example, the money-obsessed King Midas who turned his own child to gold before repenting, or the impulsive Icarus who failed to listen to his father and flew too close to the sun.

 

How did your own experiences as a parent influence the writing process, and did you draw from any specific moments or challenges?

 

Being a parent means having experienced emotion in its most heightened form: unconditional love, searing pain, rebellious optimism, endless ennui and more. To have access to such a vast range of experiences and emotions enables me to empathise with each character and make them more human. I also think having children and being busy means not having the luxury of procrastination because as soon as the youngest is asleep, I HAVE to write!

 

How do you prioritise your time and responsibilities as a working mum, and what self-care practices help you stay energised and focused?

 

I tend to write on the days my 3 year old has childcare (2 days a week) and when she sleeps. My older sons are at school, but they have lots of sports commitments, so after school and weekends are busy. I feel like a taxi driver most of the time. I think the pandemic gave me greater balance in my work/ parenting life as I didn’t have to commute as much as before. I also became stricter when it came to the projects I took on during my pregnancy and beyond. A former therapist once said to me, ‘You are your values,’ so I always remember what matters most to me: family and friends and making work decisions from a place of knowing what I want and need in order to be a happy and present mum first. My identity at one time relied heavily on my career. It doesn’t anymore, it’s an important part of me, but not as vital as my mental and physical health and of course my kids, husband, parents and close pals. I love running and try to do yoga from home as much as possible. I also follow a low-carb diet, which helps me feel my strongest.

 

And lastly, do you have any tales of ‘BROOD Moments’ where work and parenthood have collided?

 

My middle son was asked on live TV around the age of 4 (on the BBC) if he was happy I worked from home so he could see me more, and he said, ‘No, she can be quite annoying! ’ Ha! From the mouth of babes!

 

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