Balancing Fatherhood Ambition: Danny Miller and Nige Clucas
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Interview: Russell Kane & Lindsey Kane
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%22It doesn’t matter what couples in society do, if they agree to rolling around in their hippy bed, letting their baby suck on their t**s until you’re both 60, if that’s what you want – No one should judge anyone, I just think it’s really important to agree on how you want to raise your kid beforehand.”
Russell Kane is a multi-award-winning comedian, presenter, actor, author, and scriptwriter. He is a regular on Channel 4, BBC, and ITV. Russell made history in 2010 as the first comedian to win both the Edinburgh Comedy Award and Melbourne Comedy Festival’s Barry Award in one year. He met his wife, Entrepreneur Lindsey Kane, who was a Make-Up Artist working in TV at the time, when he was 35, After in-depth conversations about having children very early into their relationship and making sure they shared the same views as to how they would want to raise a child, the couple went on to have their daughter, Minna, who is now 8 years old. Stepping back from her career as an MUA whilst she was pregnant and striding into the world of business, Lindsey has carved out a name for herself as a knowledgeable and successful businesswoman, with her latest business, a supplement brand – JOLT – being a joint venture with her husband and one of their best friends Daniel.
We sat down with Russell and Lindsey at their home in Wilmslow, which they share with their daughter, their two dogs and three cats, and chatted about how becoming parents has changed them and what effect that has had on their careers.
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Interview: Russell Kane & Lindsey Kane
__________________________________
%22It doesn’t matter what couples in society do, if they agree to rolling around in their hippy bed, letting their baby suck on their t**s until you’re both 60, if that’s what you want – No one should judge anyone, I just think it’s really important to agree on how you want to raise your kid beforehand.”
Russell Kane is a multi-award-winning comedian, presenter, actor, author, and scriptwriter. He is a regular on Channel 4, BBC, and ITV. Russell made history in 2010 as the first comedian to win both the Edinburgh Comedy Award and Melbourne Comedy Festival’s Barry Award in one year. He met his wife, Entrepreneur Lindsey Kane, who was a Make-Up Artist working in TV at the time, when he was 35, After in-depth conversations about having children very early into their relationship and making sure they shared the same views as to how they would want to raise a child, the couple went on to have their daughter, Minna, who is now 8 years old. Stepping back from her career as an MUA whilst she was pregnant and striding into the world of business, Lindsey has carved out a name for herself as a knowledgeable and successful businesswoman, with her latest business, a supplement brand – JOLT – being a joint venture with her husband and one of their best friends Daniel.
We sat down with Russell and Lindsey at their home in Wilmslow, which they share with their daughter, their two dogs and three cats, and chatted about how becoming parents has changed them and what effect that has had on their careers.
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Interview: BALANCING FATHERHOOD AND AMBITION – Dads in business – Danny Miller and Nige ‘Wingman’ Clucas
By Lolo Stubbs
__________________________________
“Don’t be afraid to ask for help, don’t be afraid to make mistakes and grow along the way!”
– Danny Miller
Dad of two, and Actor Danny Miller, and Dad of one, Capital FM’s Nige “Wingman” Cluclas joined forces to create Albert’s bookshelf earlier this year.
Albert’s bookshelf is a delightful collection of children’s audio books brought to life through the magic of audio narration. Bringing popular timeless tales, vibrant characters, and thrilling adventures to life – all at the touch of a button perfect for helping your little ones wind down at bedtime on those days you’re not able to read them a bedtime story!
Inspired by the fact that Danny didn’t always make it home in time for his son Albert’s bedtime, we caught up with this dynamic duo to ask them about life in business and how they manage to juggle everything day to day!
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Danny Miller, Nige ‘Wingman’ Clucas. Images by Tom Pitfield for BROOD Magazine Limited ©
[/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https://broodmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/DSC03679-scaled.webp” alt=”Oliver Piotrowski and Jorgie Porter ” title_text=”DSC03679″ _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||7px|||” custom_padding=”15px|13px||13px||” global_colors_info=”{}”][/et_pb_image][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” custom_padding=”|||2px||” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_video src=”https://youtu.be/4lB3qBSou9s” _builder_version=”4.27.2″ _module_preset=”default” custom_padding=”|12px||||” global_colors_info=”{}”][/et_pb_video][et_pb_code _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]
Where were you in your career when you became a parent and how did you find the transition into parenthood?
Russell – “I was fully established really, in fact, I was at the point where I was like if I don’t have kids I’m not that bothered, because I really like animals, I really like going out, I really like travel, friends, I like strangers. At the time, I didn’t have any nephews or nieces as my brother is not very well. So I didn’t have a ‘burning boyvery’ as I call it, an aching inside %91for a child.%93 I passed 35 and I thought, if it didn’t work out, don’t worry about it. Then I met Lindsey when I was exactly 35. We were on the dance floor and I said to her what I’ve just said %91above%93 ‘If it doesn’t happen, it’s no big deal to me.’ And she replied, well, that is definitely something I do want, so there’s no point in us taking this any further! I’m not saying straight away, but I’m not waiting 10 years. So we basically had a rather grown-up discussion when we met where we compromised on the ages we’d want to be before we had a child and we ended up meeting in the middle. Lindsey basically had our daughter Minna 3 years sooner than she would have liked to, and I was probably 3 years older than I would have liked to have been. We discussed it early on, in the same long-handed way that we discussed where the baby would sleep and how we would even approach parenting before Lindsey was even pregnant. It was really important for me to agree on it all before. We were holidaying somewhere like Mauritius and we kept sneaking into a villa with a private pool and swimming at night. When Lindsey said shall we try for a baby at Christmas? But I’d said, we do not miss one month’s contraception until we agree on a few things ‘Where that baby will be sleeping. At what age will the baby be sleeping on its own? At what age do you want the baby to go through the night without one of us having our lives ruined?’ %91We laugh%93 So until we have written this down and agreed to it, I will remain childless’ %91he reminisces%93
It doesn’t matter what couples in society do, if they agree to rolling around in their hippy bed, letting their baby suck on their t**s until you’re both 60, if that’s what you want – No one should judge anyone, I just think it’s really important to agree on how you want to raise your kid beforehand.”
Lindsey – “Yeah, and I was a make-up artist working in TV, doing 12-14 hour days, and when I was pregnant I didn’t want to be standing up on my feet for so long and working the long and irregular hours. I wanted something with structure and routine and that is when I decided to start an online business so that I could work from home and it meant that whilst Russell was touring I could base myself anywhere. That is when I launched a lash business – because at the time it wasn’t a saturated market there was just a small selection that you could buy in the shops at the time, and I wanted to offer a variety of styles at cheaper prices for make-up artists in particular, so I set that up and launched it whilst I was pregnant, and within the first year of being a mum, trying to juggle everything – basically trying to be superwoman!”
You say you wanted to make sure that you were on the same page when it came to parenting, what were some of the things that you decided on and how did you find implementing them?
Russell – “Our lives are very different so it was always important to adapt her sleep pattern around what we needed. Like today, I woke up at 10 am and I fell asleep at 2 am – there’s no point having a child and then having to sleep in the spare room? I can’t do stand up without sleep, so I think it’s important as a working parent that they fit around your life. I’m extremely lucky with Lindsey as a parent. She was very open-minded about me making suggestions when we were having our daughter because my mum was a nanny and a childminder who knew all the tricks of the trade. So our aim with any baby was always to have them sleeping 8 hours by 8 weeks, and 12 hours by 12 weeks. Which is what my mum’s target was with any child that came through the door. ”
Lindsey – “Yeah she was 6 weeks, doing 6 hours in the night, then at 12 weeks she was doing 12 hours through the night. We did the Gina Ford %91method%93 and it is controversial but for me, I had no idea about parenting and so it was a bit of an instruction manual whereas some women don’t like it because she’ll be like, ‘right, whilst the baby sleeps, have a nap or have a snack or…’ basically telling you what to do. Whereas I needed that reminder and it helped.”
Russell – “I wouldn’t say it was all Gina Ford %91method%93 we did read lots of books. But we made a conscious effort that when the baby was around 4-5 months old, put the child to bed and sit down to have dinner and talk about our day. When people talk about happy babies and breastfeeding, they tend to forget two of the most important things. No. 1, a completely sane and happy mother (above breastfeeding) and number two, a happy working partnership, whether that be a man and a woman, woman and a woman, man and a man, whatever. They’re more important than anything and they tend to get put to the bottom. %91He imitates the nurse again%93 “No, no, the baby has to suck on her t*t until she’s 7, you go and masturbate in the spare room, dream of a holiday to Bangkok and leavin’ her.” – Yeah, that’s what the baby needs? he despairs.” No, it f***ing doesn’t actually %91answering the question as himself%93 in my opinion.
So we mapped it %91with having a baby%93 because of the lifestyle we already had. Doesn’t matter if your plan goes wrong, just have one. Like I’m doing a stand-up tonight and I have 70 mins of material, but I don’t give a s**t if I don’t use any of it cause I go off and improvise or the lights explode or something goes wrong – but that 70 mins is always there, that little birth plan if you like, but it’s important to have one.”
Lindsey – “…and not getting bogged down if it doesn’t go to plan.”
As you feel so strongly about things like that, and you discussed your plan on being parents before you had a child, looking back now, has there been a time where you have had to compromise?
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Where were you in your career when you became a parent and how did you find the transition into parenthood?
Russell – “I was fully established really, in fact, I was at the point where I was like if I don’t have kids I’m not that bothered, because I really like animals, I really like going out, I really like travel, friends, I like strangers. At the time, I didn’t have any nephews or nieces as my brother is not very well. So I didn’t have a ‘burning boyvery’ as I call it, an aching inside %91for a child.%93 I passed 35 and I thought, if it didn’t work out, don’t worry about it. Then I met Lindsey when I was exactly 35. We were on the dance floor and I said to her what I’ve just said %91above%93 ‘If it doesn’t happen, it’s no big deal to me.’ And she replied, well, that is definitely something I do want, so there’s no point in us taking this any further! I’m not saying straight away, but I’m not waiting 10 years. So we basically had a rather grown-up discussion when we met where we compromised on the ages we’d want to be before we had a child and we ended up meeting in the middle. Lindsey basically had our daughter Minna 3 years sooner than she would have liked to, and I was probably 3 years older than I would have liked to have been. We discussed it early on, in the same long-handed way that we discussed where the baby would sleep and how we would even approach parenting before Lindsey was even pregnant. It was really important for me to agree on it all before. We were holidaying somewhere like Mauritius and we kept sneaking into a villa with a private pool and swimming at night. When Lindsey said shall we try for a baby at Christmas? But I’d said, we do not miss one month’s contraception until we agree on a few things ‘Where that baby will be sleeping. At what age will the baby be sleeping on its own? At what age do you want the baby to go through the night without one of us having our lives ruined?’ %91We laugh%93 So until we have written this down and agreed to it, I will remain childless’ %91he reminisces%93
It doesn’t matter what couples in society do, if they agree to rolling around in their hippy bed, letting their baby suck on their t**s until you’re both 60, if that’s what you want – No one should judge anyone, I just think it’s really important to agree on how you want to raise your kid beforehand.”
Lindsey – “Yeah, and I was a make-up artist working in TV, doing 12-14 hour days, and when I was pregnant I didn’t want to be standing up on my feet for so long and working the long and irregular hours. I wanted something with structure and routine and that is when I decided to start an online business so that I could work from home and it meant that whilst Russell was touring I could base myself anywhere. That is when I launched a lash business – because at the time it wasn’t a saturated market there was just a small selection that you could buy in the shops at the time, and I wanted to offer a variety of styles at cheaper prices for make-up artists in particular, so I set that up and launched it whilst I was pregnant, and within the first year of being a mum, trying to juggle everything – basically trying to be superwoman!”
You say you wanted to make sure that you were on the same page when it came to parenting, what were some of the things that you decided on and how did you find implementing them?
Russell – “Our lives are very different so it was always important to adapt her sleep pattern around what we needed. Like today, I woke up at 10 am and I fell asleep at 2 am – there’s no point having a child and then having to sleep in the spare room? I can’t do stand up without sleep, so I think it’s important as a working parent that they fit around your life. I’m extremely lucky with Lindsey as a parent. She was very open-minded about me making suggestions when we were having our daughter because my mum was a nanny and a childminder who knew all the tricks of the trade. So our aim with any baby was always to have them sleeping 8 hours by 8 weeks, and 12 hours by 12 weeks. Which is what my mum’s target was with any child that came through the door. ”
Lindsey – “Yeah she was 6 weeks, doing 6 hours in the night, then at 12 weeks she was doing 12 hours through the night. We did the Gina Ford %91method%93 and it is controversial but for me, I had no idea about parenting and so it was a bit of an instruction manual whereas some women don’t like it because she’ll be like, ‘right, whilst the baby sleeps, have a nap or have a snack or…’ basically telling you what to do. Whereas I needed that reminder and it helped.”
Russell – “I wouldn’t say it was all Gina Ford %91method%93 we did read lots of books. But we made a conscious effort that when the baby was around 4-5 months old, put the child to bed and sit down to have dinner and talk about our day. When people talk about happy babies and breastfeeding, they tend to forget two of the most important things. No. 1, a completely sane and happy mother (above breastfeeding) and number two, a happy working partnership, whether that be a man and a woman, woman and a woman, man and a man, whatever. They’re more important than anything and they tend to get put to the bottom. %91He imitates the nurse again%93 “No, no, the baby has to suck on her t*t until she’s 7, you go and masturbate in the spare room, dream of a holiday to Bangkok and leavin’ her.” – Yeah, that’s what the baby needs? he despairs.” No, it f***ing doesn’t actually %91answering the question as himself%93 in my opinion.
So we mapped it %91with having a baby%93 because of the lifestyle we already had. Doesn’t matter if your plan goes wrong, just have one. Like I’m doing a stand-up tonight and I have 70 mins of material, but I don’t give a s**t if I don’t use any of it cause I go off and improvise or the lights explode or something goes wrong – but that 70 mins is always there, that little birth plan if you like, but it’s important to have one.”
Lindsey – “…and not getting bogged down if it doesn’t go to plan.”
As you feel so strongly about things like that, and you discussed your plan on being parents before you had a child, looking back now, has there been a time where you have had to compromise?
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What inspired you to start Alberts Bookshelf?
Danny: “Albert, was always at the heart of why I wanted to start it and so we chose the name based on that, and whenever we couldn’t find him in the house! He was usually working his way through his bookshelf in the playroom. So the two sat nicely together. Alberts Bookshelf. But the reason for starting it was because I was adamant to keep books and literature at the centre of his education. Nigel agreed, that a lot of the time these days iPads and tablets are used for the wrong reasons. Whilst it’s a good distraction for the children so the adults/parents can have some time to sort through house chores or catch up with each other – the two can marry up to allow the child access to tablets but in an educational format and we wanted to try and be a part of that by bringing some brilliant books to children’s homes and use their imagination to listen and invent what’s happening in their own heads. Rather than mindless videos on YouTube or other platforms that are proven to have no benefit other than distracting their attention rather than helping the mind grow.”
How do you manage the juggle of your busy work schedule, building Albert’s Bookshelf and your Dad duties?
Nige: “We’re both lucky to be on the same page and whilst family undoubtedly comes first, we try to keep in mind we’d love to pass this business down to Albert and to my daughter Lyla as well as Danny’s daughter Edith and any more in the future to come. It means we can say that they were the reason for starting something so brilliant and unique in Albert’s Bookshelf that books and words and literature can be just as fun as anything you’d find on YouTube whilst helping to educate and carve a path of interest and love for books and learning. Whether that be on a tablet or in a hardback book, the two can go together”
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Russell – “Only when we got to about 5 years old I would say. Up until last year, our daughter had never been in our bedroom after she’d gone to sleep without asking first, but she didn’t even know that that was a thing. We still have a child monitor now and use it like a walkie-talkie system. But I just wouldn’t roll back on the sleep thing because of my job. I come from… (without getting my violin out) My first home was actually a women’s hostel for women and babies, we were homeless and my dad tried to get a council flat. So I’ve started from so far down the food chain, I didn’t want to compromise on that sleep and that has a knock-on effect %91he puts on a different voice%93 ‘hey lets cut sleep, do a shit tour and hope that my career will be ok!’ – Absolutely not, he answers himself. It’s important to these guys %91Lindsey and their daughter%93 that I do that as well. Well, not now Lindsey’s about to turn into a billionaire or whatever she’s got %91he jokes%93 she doesn’t need me but before that, it was all on me – then if you come from a council house/working-class background, then that pressure is doubled because you feel that you’re going to become a peasant again at any moment and it’ll all be taken away. So I couldn’t even if I wanted to. Even if I wanted to go on holiday %91he puts on a voice of one of his friends%93 “come on holiday man, just put the baby next to you %91to sleep%93” – I physically wouldn’t be able to do it. It would be like asking someone of faith to eat meat that’s not accepted in their religion. I worship sleep, and sleep is the direct bank account that fuels, that funds, that powers, the act.”
So it didn’t affect your career becoming a parent?
Russell – “I don’t think it did. It probably affected Lindsey’s journey %91more%93 massively because she hadn’t got going enough yet. If anything it enriched it. It made me want to explore different countries and have experiences with them %91both%93. Before that I was quite happy staying in England, I love England and that’s where I’m known. Although I built a following in Australia by accident, as I went there and won this massive award on my first go so I ended up building a following over there too by accident. But before having Minna, I wouldn’t entertain different countries and cultures. But I’ve just had an inquiry from the Cayman Islands, which I’ll probably say yes to, it’s not all about the money, because we’ll go there and have that experience as a family.”
Lindsey – “Yeah, we’re not really that bothered about materialistic things, for us we are all about the experiences, we love doing them together as much as possible.”
Russell – “Yeah don’t get me wrong we have a nice gaff, but ‘normal’ clothes, a nice watch (but that’s because I used to sell them to rich people to get outta the f*****g ghetto) that’s why I’m hung up on watches but other than that, we are driven by experiences now. Like my car, I have a 1986 BMW and I love it!”
What do you think is the hardest thing about being a working parent?
Lindsey – “I think the hardest thing is trying to find balance. It’s impossible, no one has cracked it, and everyone is just surviving and trying their best. I don’t give myself a hard time, I just always try and remember that I can only do my best – that’s all I can ever do. I think that it’s an amazing thing to teach your kids to go out and work and that things aren’t just given to you on a plate you have to work hard for things, especially because Russell has got a fantastic job and I run a successful business, I don’t want her to just think that she’s just gonna roll out of school and into a job, she’s going to have to prove herself and work hard, but I think the hardest thing really is about finding the balance and trying to be everything to everyone at any one time.”
Russell – “Between 0-18 months it was absolutely fine, I’m not a very masculine-type bloke but I was quite Neanderthal at going away and coming back – I got to do the best bits initially because I had to work. Then we swapped it, Lindsey was on her second business by then. In fact I think Minna was 8 weeks old when Lindsey said “bye bye, see you in a week!” she just went and was gone. I was on my own with my mum and the baby. Then I think when she was 6 months old, I took Minna abroad on my own with my mum. So I enjoyed all that, having a baby strapped to my back, nappies and all that s**t but when it changed was when I realised the type of connection I was going to have with Minna as her personality changed, it was like a Disney love and it became really hard to leave her all of a sudden. So I think a lot of my female friends had like 3 months %91with their baby%93, whereas I got like two years and it’s worse now because she’s 8. I know what I can bring to her life when I’m here, we’re so connected so it’s hard leaving her. I know a lot of dads are out at 7 in the morning and back at 7 in the evening so get the top and tail of their time, and I get weeks and weeks of holidays with her. But I also do what a lot of dads don’t do and just disappear for four days, back for two days then disappear again for four days… and its a long time and when you’re doing that two three times a month… %91it’s hard%93 but we’re adults %91gesturing at Lindsey,%93 we can FaceTime, we can make up for it, whereas Minna is a disappearing egg timer. Soon she’ll be 9, 10, 11, 12 then ‘f**k off you’re embarrassing me now’. So yeah, I do struggle with that but at the end of the day, I’ve got a job. I don’t think Lindsey does though, I think she skips out the door with her hand luggage to her business conference, he jokes.” %91we all laugh%93
Lindsey – “No, I do find it difficult, but I am really enjoying the process of watching her grow into her own person…”
Russell – “I know, but you don’t struggle emotionally as much or pine when you’re away at a hotel as much I do. That started at 18 months when she started speaking to me and got this personality, I was like s**t, I don’t wanna go to work – I’ve never had that before. Don’t get me wrong, I love work, and once I’m on stage it’s the best hour of my day. There’s something religious about it, being picked out, knowing there are however many billions of people on the planet and 150,000 of them are coming to see me over the next 18 months, that goes beyond belief, I’ve created something amazing – what privilege right? ….So that hour %91being on stage%93 is fine… but I’ve got to get there. 4 hours there, 4 hours back, 8 hours sometimes sat in a room on my own whilst my child is without me, I f*****g hate that.”
What do you use as a coping mechanism to deal with that so it doesn’t affect your work?
Russell – “I numb myself with Netflix or TV. I can’t drink or anything like that because I’m going on stage, thank god. So I live really clean, I do that and I do lots of exercise. I’ll FaceTime and phone as much as I can in between. But she’s just slightly too young where it’s like %91taking off Minna%93 “yeah yeah, I gotta go…. I got a boogie.%22 It’s holding her attention. But that was the biggest surprise for me, finding it difficult being away from her. ‘Do you remember it switching?’” %91Russell turns to ask Lindsey%93
Lindsey – “Yes, I do.”
Russell – “I think it’s a common male thing actually, well actually, that’s not fair actually. I’ve got friends who are like, proper hard nut geezers, every single one of them when they themselves had a baby, scooped them up and sobbed on the floor, my life was permanently changed – and I just thought, that was going to be me. I just assumed I was the most emotional out of all of them.
Don’t get me wrong I cried, but I was like, great, back to work now, I’m f*****g fine, great see ya later! I was like, ‘Oh s**t, maybe I’m some kind of serial killer’, but the truth is I got there but it was just delayed. But that happens to some women as well. We have all these stereotypes of how you should act. Lindsey was the same… %91he chuckles, asking are you ok with me saying this..?%93 I’ll never forget, Lindsey had a c section and the baby came out and they were like, ‘Would you like to hold your baby’ and she said ‘Nah, not really’” %91we all laugh%93
Lindsey – “No because, To be fair, I was that traumatised from the c-section. She didn’t turn and she was breach. So I had to have a c-section instead of a water birth and I didn’t want to hold her straight away as I was very much in a meditative state and I just wasn’t ready yet. I went very child-like, all I wanted was my mum.”
Russell – “That’s why I stepped in and did skin to skin. But I bet Lindsey isn’t the only woman to be like, “can you just give me ten f*****g minutes.’ I know on Instagram I’m supposed to sob, with amniotic fluid on my t*t and smiling to the camera whilst I take away my child’s digital consent in its first seconds of life! %91We all laugh%93 But actually, I just need time and you see that guy over there, he’s the dad, let him do something for an hour seen as though he’s just planned his Deliveroo whilst they pulled a baby from my guts!” But to me her saying that wasn’t controversial, there’s two of you. Some people aren’t lucky enough, some people are single parents, some women die during childbirth – so sometimes there’s just one %91parent%93 so if there are two of ya, just use all your resources and I was up for that! I was happy as a pig in s**t for an hour whilst they sorted her out. Doing the first nappy, first cuddle. I felt privileged and grateful, how many blokes get to say they held their baby first before the woman. So Lindsey felt a complete set of different emotions and I had felt a completely different set of emotions. None of the stuff we were told we would feel.”
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Russell – “Only when we got to about 5 years old I would say. Up until last year, our daughter had never been in our bedroom after she’d gone to sleep without asking first, but she didn’t even know that that was a thing. We still have a child monitor now and use it like a walkie-talkie system. But I just wouldn’t roll back on the sleep thing because of my job. I come from… (without getting my violin out) My first home was actually a women’s hostel for women and babies, we were homeless and my dad tried to get a council flat. So I’ve started from so far down the food chain, I didn’t want to compromise on that sleep and that has a knock-on effect %91he puts on a different voice%93 ‘hey lets cut sleep, do a shit tour and hope that my career will be ok!’ – Absolutely not, he answers himself. It’s important to these guys %91Lindsey and their daughter%93 that I do that as well. Well, not now Lindsey’s about to turn into a billionaire or whatever she’s got %91he jokes%93 she doesn’t need me but before that, it was all on me – then if you come from a council house/working-class background, then that pressure is doubled because you feel that you’re going to become a peasant again at any moment and it’ll all be taken away. So I couldn’t even if I wanted to. Even if I wanted to go on holiday %91he puts on a voice of one of his friends%93 “come on holiday man, just put the baby next to you %91to sleep%93” – I physically wouldn’t be able to do it. It would be like asking someone of faith to eat meat that’s not accepted in their religion. I worship sleep, and sleep is the direct bank account that fuels, that funds, that powers, the act.”
So it didn’t affect your career becoming a parent?
Russell – “I don’t think it did. It probably affected Lindsey’s journey %91more%93 massively because she hadn’t got going enough yet. If anything it enriched it. It made me want to explore different countries and have experiences with them %91both%93. Before that I was quite happy staying in England, I love England and that’s where I’m known. Although I built a following in Australia by accident, as I went there and won this massive award on my first go so I ended up building a following over there too by accident. But before having Minna, I wouldn’t entertain different countries and cultures. But I’ve just had an inquiry from the Cayman Islands, which I’ll probably say yes to, it’s not all about the money, because we’ll go there and have that experience as a family.”
Lindsey – “Yeah, we’re not really that bothered about materialistic things, for us we are all about the experiences, we love doing them together as much as possible.”
Russell – “Yeah don’t get me wrong we have a nice gaff, but ‘normal’ clothes, a nice watch (but that’s because I used to sell them to rich people to get outta the f*****g ghetto) that’s why I’m hung up on watches but other than that, we are driven by experiences now. Like my car, I have a 1986 BMW and I love it!”
What do you think is the hardest thing about being a working parent?
Lindsey – “I think the hardest thing is trying to find balance. It’s impossible, no one has cracked it, and everyone is just surviving and trying their best. I don’t give myself a hard time, I just always try and remember that I can only do my best – that’s all I can ever do. I think that it’s an amazing thing to teach your kids to go out and work and that things aren’t just given to you on a plate you have to work hard for things, especially because Russell has got a fantastic job and I run a successful business, I don’t want her to just think that she’s just gonna roll out of school and into a job, she’s going to have to prove herself and work hard, but I think the hardest thing really is about finding the balance and trying to be everything to everyone at any one time.”
Russell – “Between 0-18 months it was absolutely fine, I’m not a very masculine-type bloke but I was quite Neanderthal at going away and coming back – I got to do the best bits initially because I had to work. Then we swapped it, Lindsey was on her second business by then. In fact I think Minna was 8 weeks old when Lindsey said “bye bye, see you in a week!” she just went and was gone. I was on my own with my mum and the baby. Then I think when she was 6 months old, I took Minna abroad on my own with my mum. So I enjoyed all that, having a baby strapped to my back, nappies and all that s**t but when it changed was when I realised the type of connection I was going to have with Minna as her personality changed, it was like a Disney love and it became really hard to leave her all of a sudden. So I think a lot of my female friends had like 3 months %91with their baby%93, whereas I got like two years and it’s worse now because she’s 8. I know what I can bring to her life when I’m here, we’re so connected so it’s hard leaving her. I know a lot of dads are out at 7 in the morning and back at 7 in the evening so get the top and tail of their time, and I get weeks and weeks of holidays with her. But I also do what a lot of dads don’t do and just disappear for four days, back for two days then disappear again for four days… and its a long time and when you’re doing that two three times a month… %91it’s hard%93 but we’re adults %91gesturing at Lindsey,%93 we can FaceTime, we can make up for it, whereas Minna is a disappearing egg timer. Soon she’ll be 9, 10, 11, 12 then ‘f**k off you’re embarrassing me now’. So yeah, I do struggle with that but at the end of the day, I’ve got a job. I don’t think Lindsey does though, I think she skips out the door with her hand luggage to her business conference, he jokes.” %91we all laugh%93
Lindsey – “No, I do find it difficult, but I am really enjoying the process of watching her grow into her own person…”
Russell – “I know, but you don’t struggle emotionally as much or pine when you’re away at a hotel as much I do. That started at 18 months when she started speaking to me and got this personality, I was like s**t, I don’t wanna go to work – I’ve never had that before. Don’t get me wrong, I love work, and once I’m on stage it’s the best hour of my day. There’s something religious about it, being picked out, knowing there are however many billions of people on the planet and 150,000 of them are coming to see me over the next 18 months, that goes beyond belief, I’ve created something amazing – what privilege right? ….So that hour %91being on stage%93 is fine… but I’ve got to get there. 4 hours there, 4 hours back, 8 hours sometimes sat in a room on my own whilst my child is without me, I f*****g hate that.”
What do you use as a coping mechanism to deal with that so it doesn’t affect your work?
Russell – “I numb myself with Netflix or TV. I can’t drink or anything like that because I’m going on stage, thank god. So I live really clean, I do that and I do lots of exercise. I’ll FaceTime and phone as much as I can in between. But she’s just slightly too young where it’s like %91taking off Minna%93 “yeah yeah, I gotta go…. I got a boogie.%22 It’s holding her attention. But that was the biggest surprise for me, finding it difficult being away from her. ‘Do you remember it switching?’” %91Russell turns to ask Lindsey%93
Lindsey – “Yes, I do.”
Russell – “I think it’s a common male thing actually, well actually, that’s not fair actually. I’ve got friends who are like, proper hard nut geezers, every single one of them when they themselves had a baby, scooped them up and sobbed on the floor, my life was permanently changed – and I just thought, that was going to be me. I just assumed I was the most emotional out of all of them.
Don’t get me wrong I cried, but I was like, great, back to work now, I’m f*****g fine, great see ya later! I was like, ‘Oh s**t, maybe I’m some kind of serial killer’, but the truth is I got there but it was just delayed. But that happens to some women as well. We have all these stereotypes of how you should act. Lindsey was the same… %91he chuckles, asking are you ok with me saying this..?%93 I’ll never forget, Lindsey had a c section and the baby came out and they were like, ‘Would you like to hold your baby’ and she said ‘Nah, not really’” %91we all laugh%93
Lindsey – “No because, To be fair, I was that traumatised from the c-section. She didn’t turn and she was breach. So I had to have a c-section instead of a water birth and I didn’t want to hold her straight away as I was very much in a meditative state and I just wasn’t ready yet. I went very child-like, all I wanted was my mum.”
Russell – “That’s why I stepped in and did skin to skin. But I bet Lindsey isn’t the only woman to be like, “can you just give me ten f*****g minutes.’ I know on Instagram I’m supposed to sob, with amniotic fluid on my t*t and smiling to the camera whilst I take away my child’s digital consent in its first seconds of life! %91We all laugh%93 But actually, I just need time and you see that guy over there, he’s the dad, let him do something for an hour seen as though he’s just planned his Deliveroo whilst they pulled a baby from my guts!” But to me her saying that wasn’t controversial, there’s two of you. Some people aren’t lucky enough, some people are single parents, some women die during childbirth – so sometimes there’s just one %91parent%93 so if there are two of ya, just use all your resources and I was up for that! I was happy as a pig in s**t for an hour whilst they sorted her out. Doing the first nappy, first cuddle. I felt privileged and grateful, how many blokes get to say they held their baby first before the woman. So Lindsey felt a complete set of different emotions and I had felt a completely different set of emotions. None of the stuff we were told we would feel.”
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What have you found to be the most challenging part of running a business to be?
Danny:: “The hardest thing, I’d say, is the distance between my house and the recording studio. Being in Yorkshire it can be quite hard whilst downtime from filming to balance family life and helping Alberts Bookshelf to grow. That said, it shows how much of a brilliant team Nigel and I are together, we manage to find time and work around each other’s schedules to get a batch of books done in one go so it becomes easier to release them weekly, whilst not needing to be in the studio every day. Something we hope one day will be a lot easier to do when we have our own facilities to record and entertain, educate and socialise with other like-minded children and parents – all under one roof!”
What’s your favourite thing about building Alberts Bookshelf?
Nige: “For me, it’s seeing the growth. From a small, almost silly idea of Danny’s, it blossomed into a huge and quite honestly, brilliant idea from both of us. In over 124 countries and now being downloaded every single day by thousands is mind-boggling as well as humbling and also, overwhelming. We try to keep growing because we know there is so much more to overcome and achieve. We’re not here for the short term.
What would you say to someone thinking of taking the plunge into the business world?
Danny: “I personally would say that if you have an idea then work on it and go for it. And learn along the way. That’s what we’ve done so well, we’ve learnt as we go. Trial and error. Not everything works, but that doesn’t mean it won’t work a different way. Family life can be busy, but if you find someone who can bounce off you like me and Nige, it makes it all the easier. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, don’t be afraid to make mistakes and grow along the way and finally, don’t expect it to be an overnight success, because when it becomes a success it’s all the more surprising and rewarding knowing that genuine hard work, commitment and determination, will pay off.”
Since the interview, Entrepreneur Ryan Williams has also joined Alberts Bookshelf after meeting at one of our BROOD Live Events
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Danny Miller, Nige ‘Wingman’ Clucas and their family. Images by Tom Pitfield for BROOD Magazine Limited ©
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