BEYOND THE MANOSPHERE: WHY BOYS NEED MEN WHO SPEAK UP

By Dr Carolyne Keenan

Registered Psychologist, media commentator, and speaker specialising in adult and adolescent mental health.

The recent Louis Theroux documentary’s exploration of the manosphere has brought renewed attention to a growing cultural force shaping how boys understand masculinity, power and relationships.

What it reveals is not simply a fringe corner of the internet, but a highly visible ecosystem of voices offering certainty, status and belonging to young men who may feel uncertain about their place in the world.

As a psychologist, I am increasingly hearing from parents who feel alarmed by the narratives their sons are absorbing. Messages that frame women as adversaries, vulnerability as weakness and dominance as the measure of worth are gaining traction. These ideas do not exist in isolation. They are landing in a developmental window where identity is still forming and where belonging matters deeply.

Many mothers are already doing the work. They are having open conversations, challenging harmful ideas and modelling emotional literacy. This matters enormously. But we also need to be honest about something uncomfortable: for many boys, these messages will land differently when they come from men.

Not because women’s voices are less valid, but because boys are actively constructing an understanding of what it means to be a man. They are watching, consciously and unconsciously, for cues from male figures they respect. Fathers, coaches, teachers, older brothers, mentors. When those voices are absent, silent or uncertain, the vacuum is quickly filled online.

So the question is not simply how we counter harmful content. It’s: who is doing the countering?

What do boys need to be seeing and hearing?

They need to see men who can hold strength and softness at the same time. Men who can speak about emotions without shame. Men who respect women not performatively, but consistently. Men who challenge each other, not just in private but publicly. They need narratives of masculinity that are expansive rather than restrictive.

We also need to ask why these manosphere voices are resonating so strongly. What social and cultural conditions are creating this demand?

Many boys are growing up in a context where traditional markers of masculinity feel less certain. Economic shifts, changing gender roles and increased awareness of mental health have all reshaped expectations, but not always with clear guidance on what replaces them. At the same time, algorithms amplify extreme content, rewarding controversy over nuance.

If a boy feels unseen, uncertain or criticised, and then encounters a voice that offers clarity, status and belonging, it is not difficult to understand the pull.

This is not about blaming boys. Nor is it about dismissing their need for direction, purpose and identity. It is about recognising that those needs are real, and that if we do not meet them with care, someone else will meet them with certainty.

We need men who are willing to step forward and say: this is not what strength looks like. Men who can engage, not shame. Who can guide, not withdraw. Who can offer an alternative vision of masculinity that feels both credible and attainable.

Because the question is no longer whether boys are being influenced.

It is who we are willing to let do the influencing.