Imposter syndrome and the anxiety surrounding that feeling of ‘Imposter Syndrome’ is something I still hear a lot of people talk about in one way or another and I I have a view on it that may differ to others, but I would love you to hear me out and see if I can help you adjust your own perspective of what it means to be an imposter!
HOLIDAYING AFTER A SEPARATION
Holidaying after separation: Essential guide to Support You and your Children
School’s out again in October. For some families that means jetting off for some last minute sun, but if you’re separated from your child’s other parent, you might run into some challenges that you will need to address before you set off.
What if my child’s surname is different from mine?
It’s always best to keep in mind that customs officials, both in the UK and further afield, are likely to check anything they see as a discrepancy in passports when a minor is travelling with an adult. I’d suggest you take those documents with you that will verify your child’s legal connection to you: things like a certified copy of the child’s birth certificate (as it may provide the details of each parent’s surname) and, if relevant, your marriage certificate, as it will show the surnames before the marriage. If there is an existing court order, take that too. Be prepared, then you can’t be caught out.
What if my child’s surname is different from mine?
It’s always best to keep in mind that customs officials, both in the UK and further afield, are likely to check anything they see as a discrepancy in passports when a minor is travelling with an adult. I’d suggest you take those documents with you that will verify your child’s legal connection to you: things like a certified copy of the child’s birth certificate (as it may provide the details of each parent’s surname) and, if relevant, your marriage certificate, as it will show the surnames before the marriage. If there is an existing court order, take that too. Be prepared, then you can’t be caught out.
My ex wants to take our daughter on holiday – can I stop him?
The answer is “it depends.” If there is a court order in place, usually a Child Arrangements Order (formerly a Residence Order) then a child can be taken abroad for up to a month without needing the written consent of the other parent.
But then there is the question of Parental Responsibility. If you’re the child’s mother, you automatically have it. If the child’s father was married to you when your child was born, or if he is named as father on the child’s birth certificate, then he too has Parental Responsibility.
If there’s no order in place (even when both parents share Parental Responsibility), your ex will need your written consent to his taking the child out of the United Kingdom (Section 13 (2) of the Children Act 1989). If he doesn’t get your permission and leaves the country with the child anyway, such actions might be viewed by a judge as child abduction, which is very serious.
Some ex-couples don’t get along and do their best to stop the other taking the children on holiday. Those who object to the other going away can make an application to the court for a Prohibited Steps Order to stop this happening, and if the other parent believes your consent is being unreasonably withheld, they can make an application to the court for a Specific Issuer Order, for permission to take the children on holiday in the absence of your consent.
Elspeth, JMW Law
Keep the lines of communication open
This is why it’s far better to keep those lines of communication open and decide these things as responsible parents yourselves.
Try to find a way for you both to agree on travel arrangements in good time. I know that in many instances this can be hard but it really is going to be your best option, as going to court can be costly and even then, it’s a quite rare for the court to deny permission for a child to be taken on holiday by a parent where there’s an existing relationship and the plans themselves are entirely reasonable.
Think ahead – and have a wonderful holiday!
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